Reading Time: 6 min 43 sec
I never really understood the sacrifice my mother made over the years until I became a mom. The first year as a young mom can be a straight up culture shock, as you adjust to life as a 24/7 caregiver. You are happy to serve, to care for this completely helpless young life, but at times it can seem like you are walking around in a fog and half of you is missing.
Your lack of sleep, and the stress of the daily learning curve and new routine, can affect your motivation, and mental and emotional energy. Sometimes all you want to do is veg out in front of the tv and make it through another day.
Yes, a new baby throws your sleep cycle ( no sleep is more accurate) to the curb and to survive, as you adjust to being a new mom, self-care doesn’t even make the priority list. But what should be a temporary season, can quickly bleed over into an unhealthy pattern that sets the tone for how you operate as an individual, and as a mom for the rest of your life.
New baby, new job, multiple kids, projects at work, home repairs, playdates and soccer there will be something to give you a reason to live your life running from emergency to emergency. You tell yourself, I’ll take care of myself later until you are utterly too tired and worn out to keep all those plates in the air.
We will be talking today about 5 Practical ways (plus 3 bonus tools) to replenish your body and soul and prevent burnout.
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Date Yourself
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Silence and Solitude
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Community
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Sleep
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Spouse
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Schedule
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Time with Jesus
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Exercise
In Matthew 11:28-30 it says, “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”
What would it look like to get away with God? What would it feel like to take a real rest? Jesus said that he will teach us how-to walk-through life’s rhythms with grace, stepping freely and lightly. The Father says he won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on us.
So why do we think that it’s okay, to burn the candle at both ends,
playing martyrs to our own expectations of motherhood?
What would it feel like to truly operate in the world, out of a place of grace?
Tish Harrison Warren, in her book, Liturgy of the Ordinary: Sacred Practices in the Everyday Life says it this way, “Similarly, when we denigrate our bodies—whether through neglect or staring at our faces and counting up our flaws—we are belittling a sacred site, a worship space more wonderous than the most glorious, ancient cathedral. We are standing before the Grand Canyon or the Sistine Chapel and rolling our eyes.”
We are God’s precious creation, his beloved, his chosen, his adopted child and he is asking us to take his hand and step into a life of grace, living freely and lightly, will you join me?
Here are the 8 practical steps:
1. Date Yourself
Take time to invest in the things that bring you joy. That could mean carving out time to craft, go to a coffee shop, experiment with different recipes in the kitchen, get a massage, or go to a movie. It is about taking the time to recharge your batteries. Set aside the pressure to be productive. Invite God’s presence into your time and enjoy yourself; explore, create, wonder, and delight in whatever and however, you have chosen to spend your time.
- Silence and Solitude
This is a hard idea for most people as we are a society that doesn’t know how to be alone with our thoughts. We are so used to being tethered to our smartphones that taking the time to get away without constantly checking in can feel foreign.
However, revisiting Matthew 11:28-29, God calls us to, “Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest.”
God is calling to us to get away with him. To set aside distractions and just be in his presence. This is a tool that extraverts or introverts can fit easily into the rhythms of our lives.
Practice silence and solitude in the shower, during a walk, over your lunch hour, while your child is napping, in the early morning, or late at night before you go to bed. Invite God’s presence into your time, and focus your thoughts on him, just being in his presence with no demands. Start spending time in the silence with Jesus for 5 minutes (blanket and a cup of coffee optional).
3. Community
Go grab a coffee with one of your close friends. You were never meant to walk through life alone but in community with others. You need friends and family who care about you to come alongside and help shoulder life’s burdens.
You need to be able to share your thoughts and feelings in a safe environment knowing you will be met with love and encouragement.
We need each other.
If you don’t have a community of close friends, I would encourage you to check out a small group your local church, where you can be known and know others.
4. Sleep
There are tons of studies that tell us that the average adult needs 7-8 hours of sleep a night. If you are at a stage in life, where that suggestion is more dream than reality (trust me, been there, done that) try twenty-minute power naps. It gives you the energy you need without making you feel like you got hit by two by four.
Take a nap, your to-do list will still be there. Remember, you are giving the gift of a rested mom to your family.
5. Spouse
Time alone with your spouse cannot be forgotten. The ability to have adult conversations, without having to operate as a parent, allows you to reconnect with your spouse on a deep level. Your spouse (next to God) is the most important relationship in your life. Your husband will be there long after the kids move out of the house.
Go play a sport, explore a new part of your city, or go for a walk. If you are unable to get away, put the kids to bed, and go sit outside (it will feed the illusion you are a million miles away).
6. Bonus–Exercise
A 30-minute walk to clear our heads can make a world of difference. Not only is it good for our overall health, but it helps to remove tension and it allows you to sleep better at nights. Find an activity you love to do, and plan to get out of the house, 3-4 times a week, and burn that stress!
7. Bonus-Schedule
Take 10 minutes and look at your schedule. Ask yourself, what activities bring you joy? What activities feel like you are pushing a boulder uphill? Do you have room to breathe, is there margin in your life? Or are you running from one activity to the next? Is there an dominate activity that could be cut back (or removed), for your overall health?
Notice if the word, “should” pops up in your evaluation. It can be a tipoff to look harder at that activity and whether or not it should be exited from your calendar. Your calendar is a good indicator of where your priorities lie.
8. Bonus-Time with Jesus
Spending time with Jesus is crucial to finding rest in the middle of stormy seasons of life. Imagine Jesus is holding out his hand, calling out to you and saying, “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”
Jesus doesn’t want you to live in a permanent state of frantic activity or utter exhaustion. He wants you to find rest. We won’t learn to live out of grace, standing firm in the midst of storms if we don’t spend time investing in a love relationship with Jesus.
Can you imagine a time where spending time with Jesus was not an obligation, but a necessary delight in your life? If this idea of delighting in Jesus, sparks something in you, I would encourage you to check out David Benner’s book, Surrender to Love.
Start with taking 10-15 minutes each day and spending it with Jesus. Read slowly through a passage of scripture, not trying to get it done, but meditating on it, and allowing the Holy Spirit to speak to you.
I would encourage you to pick one thing off this list and incorporate it into your week. You got this!
If you want to know how to get started in living a deeper life with God; grab our Deeper Life Beginners Guide (below). And join our community of moms who are hungry for more Jesus in their lives and in the lives of their families.
What about you? What are your favorite ways to recharge your batteries, to replenish your soul? Please feel free to leave me a comment and don’t forget to follow Most Important Work on Pinterest!
Want to dive in deeper? Check out these resources.
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Reading Time: 4 min 39 sec
We know it is very important for the spiritual health of our kids (and US) to spend time with God every day. We know that the practices established today set the foundation for the rest of their lives.
We also know that quality time with Jesus is transformative
and affects every area of your child’s life.
But even with all of that knowledge, it can be easy when you have a long list of chores and activities filling up your schedule, or to let time with God slip into a get it done mentality just to cross it off the list.
So how do you encourage a love of scripture in your child that is focused on transformation, not information?
Here are five practical steps to experiencing God with your child.
- Set the Tone
- Read the Bible with Curiousity
- Use Silence & Questions
- Play & Recreate
- Prayer of Thanksgiving
This can take anywhere from 15-30 minutes or more with your child each day depending on their age.
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Set the Tone
It is really hard (for children and parents alike) to really connect with God when you bring the craziness of the day (or hour) into your devotional time. I don’t know about you but I can’t jump from juggling kids, animals, sports, dinner, and to do lists right into spending time with Jesus.
At best, I will be giving him 50% of my attention, while trying not to balance my checkbook in my head.
If I struggle as an adult to focus, can you imagine how much more your children struggle?
I find that a couple of things help to set the tone for our devotions.
a. We try to meet with Jesus at roughly the same time each day. I have found that my children thrive when they know generally what to expect, and this rhythm seems to have worked really well for us over the last couple of years.
b. We begin by lighting a candle and praying. We use the candle as a visual reminder that God is with us and within us each day.
c. We invite God into our day and ask Him to remove the distractions, and to calm and prepare our hearts for this special time with Him.
d. We then finish the prayer with a couple moments of silence.
* We all take turns lighting the candle and praying each day (helps eliminate fighting, hence distractions and an irritated mom).
I know what it’s like to have preschoolers to middle schoolers making faces, hitting each other, and rolling all over the couch but I would encourage you to slowly, bit by bit, add silence into your time of worship. This silence (which can be hard won) is very important to teaching your child to be quiet and listen for the still small voice of the Holy Spirit.
What I find amazing is that after setting the expectations, and doing this for a period of time, the children will typically come to devotions ready to prepare their hearts to spend time with Jesus.*
PRO Tip: Let your child play with a fidget, (as long as they are listening and not being disruptive) if they have a hard time sitting still.
2. Read the Bible with Curiousity
Reading the Bible was not meant to be a passive, but rather, an interactive experience. A time when you are not just reading the Bible for information, but for a deeper discovery of your Father in Heaven, who is over the top in love with you.
1 John 4:7-8 says, “My beloved friends, let us continue to love each other since love comes from God. Everyone who loves is born of God and experiences a relationship with God. The person who refuses to love doesn’t know the first thing about God, because God is love—so you can’t know him if you don’t love.”
When you and your child come to the Bible with curiosity and expectation, it begins an ongoing dialogue between you and the Holy Spirit.
When your child stops to wonder “Why? What if? That’s interesting?” you have stopped passively reading or trying to get it done, and have started interacting with the text.
When you take the time to sit and savor the word of God allowing it flow in and through you, it becomes comes transformative.
We recently transitioned to a different children’s version of the Bible. Even though we really enjoyed our old Bible (it’s totally dog-eared), this different perspective has inspired in my children (and me) such an expectancy, curiosity, and deep excitement to find out “what happens next”, that it fills us with joy and makes us look forward to tomorrows devotional time.
It might be helpful, especially in the younger years to try different versions of the Bible to find out what fits your family today.
I would encourage you to read each story or passage slowly and thoughtfully. Encourage your children to notice the little things, ask questions, and make connections.
3. Silence & Questions
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After you finish reading the story, explain to you your child that you are going to have a time of silence to allow the Holy Spirit to speak to them through the story.
When I am intentional about creating pockets of silence, it gives my child permission to not rush through this experience but to take their time being present with the story.
I then ask open-ended questions such as, what was your favorite part of this story? Did anything catch your attention? How did you feel as you listened to the story? How would you feel if you were _______ (the main character)? How is God showing his love to his children in this story? Is this story similar to anything in your life?
The whole goal here is for the child to wrestle with the story allowing the Holy Spirit to take the bits and pieces from the story and apply it to their own life.
4. Play and Recreate
When time allows, give your child the opportunity to recreate the story. They can do this through a variety of ways such as: verbally, through song, drama, puppets, dolls, art, and the written word.
This will not only encourage their creativity, and reinforce the story, but it will also allow them to continue interacting with the text from another perspective.
It can be hilarious to hear the children reenacting Bible stories, you just never know what is going to come out of their mouths! J. My kids spent 3 full days looking for a sling shot after reading David and Goliath. I might save Jael and the tent peg story until they become adults!
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5. Close with a Prayer of Thanksgiving
We close each devotional time with a brief prayer that includes thanking God for: His presence, His overwhelming love for us, and by asking Him to cement what He has done today in our hearts and minds.
Closing with prayer is huge because it refocuses our attention on God and sets the tone for the rest of our day.
Grab your FREE Deeper Life Beginner’s Guide and join our community of moms who are hungry for more of Jesus in their lives and in the lives of their children.
What about you? What are your favorite ways to spend time in the Bible with God each day?
If you try any of these activities, let us know! Leave a comment, and don’t forget to follow Most Important Work on Pinterest. about you? What are your favorite ways to increase your child’s awareness of God?
If you try any of these activities, let us know! Leave a comment, and don’t forget to follo
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Reading Time: 2 min 26 sec
Welcome to the Most Important Work blog. I am excited to kick off what I hope is a very fruitful friendship.
I started Most Important Work because after spending twelve years as a children’s and youth pastor and becoming a parent myself, I realized that:
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Parenting is HARD work
2. Every parent is afraid they are going to blow it
3. We all wonder if we are doing enough
I found after talking to numerous parents that we are all so busy trying to keep our children clothed, fed, and ALIVE that we struggle to find a consistent time to incorporate God in everyday life. If we do find the time, we are at a loss of how to (besides reading the Bible, prayer and memorizing scripture) weave the things of God throughout our day.
I was also tired of children’s curriculum that was so focused on transferring facts about Jesus that they missed the whole “heart” part of a relationship with Jesus.
I believe Catherine Stonehouse and Scottie May say it best in their book, Listening to Children on the Spiritual Journey,
“Often adults have assumed that we could give children their understanding of God by just telling them what God is like… As they are ready, children construct or form their understandings for themselves, with the gracious presence, encouragement, and guidance of God’s Spirit.”
We can’t just fill our children’s heads with facts about God and assume our kids will grow up having a thriving relationship with Jesus.
It is our charge as parents to pass on our active faith to our kids. Meaning, our children come to experience a deeper relationship with God through the power of the Holy Spirit AND by watching US live life.
Stonehouse and May continue by saying, “The lives we (parents) live, how we love and discipline children, the stories we tell, the comments we make, and the lessons we teach are raw materials for God and the children to use as they actively construct their understanding of God and God’s ways.” I want to give my children the best of both worlds; a balance of both experience and knowledge of God.
What would it look like, for your child to “know” from their own experience (not just hearing it from you) that they are uniquely and lavishly loved by God?
That the Creator of the universe wants to be an important part of all the ordinary things that make up your child’s day? If that was at the core of who they were; how would that change how they saw and moved in life? Their very identity?
It would change the trajectory of
your child’s life.
It would chIt ItIt the trajectory of your child’s life.
I have been on a quest, pouring through books, praying, leading simple activities at home and at church, brainstorming, and talking with parents all on a mission to find ways that real parents, with real lives, can intentionally provide simple ways for their children to meet with Jesus at home.
My desire is that Most Important Work would act as a catalyst; providing encouragement, inspiration, resources, and motivation for Moms as we travel together on this parenting journey.
If you want to know how to get started in living a deep life with God; grab our Deeper Life Beginners Guide (below). And join our community of moms who are hungry for more Jesus in their lives and in the lives of their families.
What about you? What topic are you most interested in hearing more about on this blog? We would love to hear from you!
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