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I fell to my knees, my soul crying out for more than my controlled paper-thin Christianity. I hungered for the life of meaning and significance that King David and countless others in the Bible experienced. I started to cry out my desire to God but something had a stranglehold around my neck.


What if he actually answers my prayer?” I thought.  “What does a deep life with God actually look like?  What will I have to give up?  I’m not sure I want to give anything up. What will my friends think?… What if this God-life means I can’t have any fun anymore?


There are several things that can keep us from experiencing the transforming power of a WITH God life. Fear is one of the key culprits.  It can easily overwhelm us; the loss of control, fear of the unknown, fear of what others think, the fear of boredom. It can keep us in pinned down barely able to move.


I feel bad even thinking this, but let’s be real, what if life with God is actually lonely and BORING?  I don’t want that… Will I be stuck at home reading my Bible while my friends are all out having fun? This is too overwhelming,” I tell myself.  “I’ll think about it tomorrow.”


This war between the desire for more of God and the fear of the unknown can not only play havoc in our lives, but can keep us from living a life of joy and freedom.


So, what do you do when you are afraid to go deep with God because you are not sure you are willing to pay the cost? There are three things about God we need to understand in order to move forward in a relationship with him.


1. A Relational God


2. An Invitational God



3. A Conversational God



1. A Relational God 


The first thing we need to understand is that God is relational. He lives in relationship with  with the Son, and Holy Spirit.  God created us in his image and as such we were designed to live in relationship with him.

We can sometimes have this idea of God where he is distant, harsh, or demanding. Where he is always calling us to account and frankly, he can feel like a killjoy.


We forget that God, while to be respected, created us to live in a love relationship with him.  As a Father, he delights in spending time and giving good gifts to his kids.


In Matthew 7:8-11 it says, “If your child asks for bread, do you trick him with sawdust? If he asks for fish, do you scare him with a live snake on his plate? As bad as you are, you wouldn’t think of such a thing. You’re at least decent to your own children. So, don’t you think the God who conceived you in love will be even better?


When we limit him to a list of do’s and don’ts we are taking him out of the context of a loving relationship.


God showers us with unconditional love and acceptance just as we are today. Imagine living life under a waterfall of his never stopping, never giving up love. We don’t have to get cleaned up to walk in intimacy with God.  We can come to him with our doubts and fears and be met with love and acceptance. How freeing is that?


God demonstrates his love by being present to us every moment of every day. He is a master listener, totally engaged in our every word. He puts out his hand and invites us to spend time with him, to live life with him, while we fold laundry, participate in a 5k obstacle course, and play games with friends.


C.S. Lewis said, “God has infinite attention to spare for each one of us. You are as much alone with him as if you were the only being he had ever created.”


God takes delight and joy out of spending time with you. A life with God is built on the foundation of a love relationship. Every interaction with God, every nudge, every invitation, is God reaching out, loving, protecting and caring for his precious child, you.



2.  An Invitational God 


What’s amazing about pursuing a deep relationship with God is that he doesn’t push or pull you towards a life with him. What can be scary about pursuing God is the fear that our whole life will change overnight. But God isn’t a vicious dictator that forces you to do things you don’t want to do.


Have you ever visited someone’s house who was an excellent host? You walk in the door and they shower you with kindness.  They usher you to a comfortable chair, encourage you to put your feet up, offer you tea and some warm chocolate chip cookies.

As a guest, you don’t have to worry about making a meal, doing laundry, or running errands, you get to completely rest.  How does that experience make you feel?


God is like a gracious host who sees to your every need showering love on you through his words and actions.  He does not yell, demand or cajole. He graciously offers, again, and again. He demonstrates his overwhelming love for us by giving us a choice to say yes to him. Not just one time but countless times but every day.


He asks, “Will you trust me? Will set down your cell phone and be present to me right now? Will you fall in love with me?”


He doesn’t stop there but lovingly challenges us to a deeper experience of him. He wants us to experience the depths of his lavish love. He invites us to live a life of excitement and surrender. When you say “yes” to God you want to follow his leading.


Paul in Ephesians 5:1-2 says, “Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn’t love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that.”


When we learn how to live a life of love we experience freedom and adventure far beyond our wildest dreams.


3. A Conversational God 

God is a talking God. He wants to spend time engaged in ongoing dialogue with YOU.  He wants to hear about your thoughts and feelings even if they are scary, overwhelming, and shameful. Nothing you can say fazes him, his love for you is not conditional on your performance.

There is nothing you can do to make him love you any more or any less than he loves you right now.

Prayer is the human response to the perpetual outpouring of love by which God lays siege to every soul.” Richard Foster


He encourages you to have an ongoing honest conversation with him. God knows you better than you know yourself. He knows your circumstances, relationships, your pain, and your joy.  He doesn’t just lay down the law and demand obedience he invites you to walk with him towards a life of freedom.


I would encourage you to stop right now and spend some time talking to him about your desires and your fears. 


1. Name the things that are keeping you from going for it in your relationship with God. It could be the fear of the unknown, the fear of failure or that you will feel isolated or bored.


2. Spend a couple of minutes in silence (some find it helpful to set an alarm on your phone for 2-3 minutes). Allow the Holy Spirit elbow room to speak to you by just sitting with God.


3. Finish by asking him for his grace, a deeper desire for more of him, courage, wisdom, and perseverance.


Do not underestimate the power of prayer. “In prayer, real prayer, we begin to think God’s thoughts after Him: to desire the things He desires, to love the things He Loves, to will the things He wills.” Richard Foster


We follow a God who is relational, conversational and always overflowing with grace. When fear threatens to stop us in our tracks we remember that we are not on this journey alone. We can stop, name our fears, and take them to God in prayer. As we live in daily surrender he is faithful to draw us into a deeper relationship with him.



If you want to know how to get started in living a deep life with God; grab our Deeper Life Beginners Guide (below). And join our community of moms who are hungry for more Jesus in their lives and in the lives of their families. 

  What about you? What is your #1 issue when it comes to pursuing a deep relationship with God?   Leave a comment, and don’t forget to follow Most Important Work on Pinterest!   


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Alexis is the creator of Most Important Work. She has served on staff for 13 years at a local church as a children’s, youth, and now Family Life Pastor. Alexis is very passionate about helping moms and churches nurture a love of Jesus in their children through creativity, curiosity, and consistency.
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