How to Encourage a Strong Identity in Your Child

How to Encourage a Strong Identity in Your Child

              

Reading Time: 5 min 3 sec

 

Our children are growing up in a culture where likes and tweets are dictating their self-worth. We all want our children to grow up having a strong identity, knowing that they are lavishly loved by God and that His love for them is not based on their performance.  Easier said than done, right?

 

Children at this time in their life, are concrete thinkers and learn primarily through experiences. So just telling them, “God loves you”, “You are one of a kind,” “God is with you”, though important, is only one half of the equation. They need to experience it.  The truth needs to go from head knowledge to heart transformation.

I like how Catherine Stonehouse puts it in her book, Listening to Children on the Spiritual Journey:

 “When we focus on transmission approaches we often fail to give children opportunity to reflect on the questions that are important to them, to spend time listening to God and meeting God in the biblical story and in times of quiet.”

 

So how do we do that? How do we encourage an awareness of God’s overwhelming love in our children? I believe that Psalm 139:1-22 is one amazing resource when it comes to understanding who we truly are: beloved by God, a masterpiece, and adored. This excerpt from the chapter really strikes home lavish love of God toward us, His kids.

 “You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, The days of my life all prepared before I’d even lived one day.” Psalm 139:14-16

 

 Here are five suggestions of ways that you can interact with the text allowing space for God to speak to your child (and you). *  

 

  • Memorize Psalm 139:1-22

  • Pray through each section 

  • Journal using Pictures and/or Words

  • Pray Blessing Over your Child

  • Create a Song Expressing your Feelings to God
    1. Memorize Psalm 139:1-22

    Estimated Time: 5-10 minutes a day

    We want the truths found in this passage to be cemented into the hearts of our children. So that in moments of crisis, the Holy Spirit can bring these verses to the foreground of our children’s minds.   I have found that this passage has become a part of our family story. It’s a common reference point that pops up in all types of conversations.

     I split the passage into four sections using the natural text breaks as a guide.  I would encourage you to take your time memorizing this passage. 

     

    An Optional Idea– before you start to memorize each section:

    1. Read the whole passage           (Understand the big picture)
    2. Replace the word “I” with your child’s name       (Ask how does that make you feel?)
    3. Be curious                                      (I wonder_____?)
    4. Ask questions                               (What does that look like?)

    2. Pray through Each Section

    Estimated Time: 10-20 minutes (depending on age)

    This activity forces us to slow down and spend intentional time soaking in God’s word. I have used this tool with both elementary through high school students and have seen God use it in a powerful way in their lives.

     

    Take one of the four sections of scripture and use these tips to reflect on God’s word.

    1. Read– The passage slowly 2x- Ask God to underline a word or phrase

    2. Ask– What do the word (s) say to me?

    3. Pray– and tell God your thoughts

    4. Ponder– what is the Lord asking of me? How can I respond?

    3. Journal Using Pictures and/or Words 

    Estimated Time: 10-15 minutes 

    Supplies: a. White Paper with no lines  b. Markers or crayons  (whatever you have on hand). 

     

    I love that even though you might not be an artist, anyone can pick up a pencil or markers and doodle. There are no rules. No expectations. Just spending time with Jesus.

     I typically will read aloud the tips below to prepare the child for this activity. I will also let the child know that this art is between them and God. They can, but do not have to, show me the completed piece.

     I will typically put on soft worship music in the background. I would also highly encourage you to participate with your child during this activity. You are modeling for your child that spending time with God is a high priority because God speaks to you, and it will help your child not to feel rushed.

    Here are some Ideas: 

    • Pray and invite God’s presence into this time. Ask him to speak to you through the passage.

    • Slowly read a section, or the entire passage aloud

    • Just sit in God’s presence. There is no rush. (This might feel weird at first, but just like anything else, it gets easier with time and practice.)

    • When you feel ready, draw or write whatever God has put on your heart. 

    • When everyone is done, ask-

    1.How did you feel about this activity?  

    2. Was it easy or hard for you?  Why? 

     

     

    If they feel comfortable sharing their artwork:

    1. Ask them to share with you what God spoke to them.

    2. Ask them how that made them feel?

    Finish by praying and thanking God for spending time with you today.

     

    5. Pray Blessing over Your Child

    Estimated Time: 2-5 minutes 

    Take each section and use that passage to pray a blessing over your child each day.

    I would actually suggest praying the same blessing over your child for an extended period of time, only moving on to the next section when the Holy Spirit directs you.   That repetition will allow your child to internalize the blessing, and for the Holy Spirit to cement it in their hearts.

     

    Example:

    “Thank You, God that you are never out of our sight. Thank You for lavishly loving ______, (insert your child’s name) that you know him/her so well that You know what he/she is going to say before he/she speaks one word. I pray a blessing over _________, that he/she will always know that he/she are seen, beloved, and never alone. We love You!  Amen.”  

     

    6. Create a song expressing your feelings to God 

    Estimated Time: 15-20 minutes Supplies:  White paper & a pen or crayons (or whatever you have on hand)

    We couldn’t talk about Psalms without adding music to the list!   I have done this exercise with students individually, and in groups up to high school with great success. I love how we get to cultivate the creative side of our brains in worship to God.

    Read over a section or the entire passage as inspiration for your own song to God. I use the word create because with littles, instead of writing down a song, they could just sing it out spontaneously. 

     

    I love focusing specifically on verses 13-16 and watching children really light up as they read about how special, unique and loved they are by God.  The songs that come out of it are so amazing.

     

     I would encourage you to set aside your own expectations of what a “successful” activity looks like, and just dive in allowing the Holy Spirit to take control. 

    Even if you only get through half of the activity, you are modeling a life filled with Jesus. 

     *We read Psalm 139 in Message version because I found it easier for my children to grasp the language.

    Grab your FREE Deeper Life Beginners Guide and join our community of moms who are hungry for more of Jesus in their lives and in the lives of their children.

    What about you? What are your favorite ways to use scripture to build a strong identity for your child? 

     

    If you try any of these activities, let us know! Leave a comment, and don’t forget to follow Most Important Work on Pinterest. bout you? What are your favorite ways to increase your child’s awareness of God? 

     If you try any of these activities, let us know! Leave a comment, and don’t forget to follo

    10 Simple Ways to Invite God Into Your Child’s Day

    10 Simple Ways to Invite God Into Your Child’s Day

                  

    Reading Time: 4 min 22 sec

    I don’t know about you but I want my children to grow up in an environment where they instinctively invite God into every aspect of their day. I want to give them a leg up in this thing called…life.

     I want to do the heavy lifting so my kids can

    reap the benefits. 

    Don’t we all want that for our kids? In order to foster such a God-centered environment, we have to be intentional as parents. 

     Intentionality, an intimidating word that can evoke the same fear as the word “budget”. The word that screams, “This parenting gig is just too overwhelming, I can’t add or even think about one more thing. We are failing miserably. We aren’t enough. They are going to need therapy.” 

     Before we all run screaming from the room, take a deep breath, and realize that it while it does take some effort,  we have the benefit of working in tandem with the Holy Spirit.  

     

    Here is a quick overview of ten ways that you can encourage a God-centered environment at home.  These tips are deceptively simple and yet when practiced consistently (not all at once) the impact can be HUGE!

    • Start the Day with Prayer

    • Memorize a Passage of Scripture

    • Light a Candle

    • Read a story

    • Take a walk

    • Pray over booboos

    • Pray for the needs of others

    • The Power of Silence

    • Reflect back over the day

    • Pray blessing over your child

    Each activity is only 2-15 minutes long. *BTW, all of these activities have the perk of being effective in your life as well.

     

    Here are 10 very simple ways to invite God into Your Child’s Day

     

    1. Start the day with a Quick Prayer inviting God into your child’s day.

     Before the morning chaos starts, grab thirty seconds and your ragtag brood and invite God into your day. It makes such a difference! It makes all the sibling fights, the race against the clock, the spilled syrup and dog vomit all over the ground so… much..easier (I said easier not great).

     

    1. Take Time to work on Memorizing a passage of Scripture

     Write down a short passage of scripture to practice memorizing each day for a couple of minutes.  You can also turn your verses into songs with or without hand motions (not that I know from personal experience or anything). 

     

    1. Light a Candle to remind your child that God is present with us all day.

     Something about that flickering flame is fascinating to young and old alike. It helps remind us to slow down and remember that we are not alone, that the God of the universe is present today with us.

     

    1. Read a Story or section from your child’s Bible. Discuss.

    When you get to the end of the story, don’t be quick to fill the silence, with a clarification. Allow your child to sit in silence whether for 5 seconds or a minute. The Holy Spirit is at work and your child will internalize exactly as much or as little as they are ready for. You might be surprised by their insights.

    5. Take a Walk outside. Stop and look at whatever draws their attention.

     Yes, you might be staring at a dead cicada for fifteen minutes, but take off the productive hat (and put your cell phone in your back pocket) and give them the gift your undivided attention.  Join them in marveling at God’s creation. Enjoy the slower pace. 

    1. Pray over boo-boos every..single..time.

    I don’t know about you but my children, big and small, get hurt like a thousand times a day. From scraped knees to hurt pinkies, stopping to pray for healing is such an easy way to include God in the ordinary parts of our day.  It is amazing to see how such a simple five-second prayer brings comfort, peace, and calm to my children.

    It really enforces the truth that God cares about every part of our                            lives even the small splinters in our thumbs. 

     

    It is beautiful to see the kids instinctively gather together and pray over each other when they get hurt (they get a lot of practice throughout the day). 

     

    1. Take Five minutes and as a Family Pray for the needs of 1-2 other people.

    This is a great activity because it can literally be done anywhere at any time (no craft supplies needed, Hurray!).  You could focus on using this tool ongoing or for a season as it really fosters a heart of service and love towards others. 

     

    1. Spend 2 minutes of Silence in the car. Just being with Jesus. No demands.

     WORD of Warning: This.. can.. be.. so.. powerful. 

    However, you can’t just shout, “Kids, we are going to be silent for the next two minutes. You WILL SPEND this time with Jesus!”  It doesn’t work, trust me.

     I would suggest starting off with a quick explanation, “Kids we are going to spend some time just hanging out with Jesus in silence, enjoying his presence.” 

    And a quick two sentence prayer, “God we love you, and we love spending time with you. Be with us during this time.”  

    I would encourage you to set realistic expectations for this activity. If your children have never practiced silence before don’t feel frustrated when little Johnny makes faces at his sister, and weird sounds start erupting from the back seat (it will happen).  This can be a meaningful activity but as with anything it takes practices.  Stick with it! 

    And to end say something really profound like, “Thank you, God. Amen.”

    9. Bedtime- Spend 5 minutes looking back over your day. Ask God to highlight anything that you need to reflect on.

    For a season, we ended every day by praying and asking God to lead us back over our day, both the happy and the sad, and highlight anything we needed to pay attention to.

      I would ask questions like, “What brought you joy today? What made you sad today?” paying attention to their emotions, and giving those feelings and that situation over to God. We would then pray for God’s blessing over tomorrow.

     Allowing your child space to reflect over their day without jumping in with suggestions is necessary for this practice. Some of the most special times that I have had with my child have been during this bedtime prayer.

     

    1. Finish the Day by Praying a Blessing over your Child.

    Keep it simple. My personal preference is to pray using words that my child understands with zero explanation required.

     Though my blessing seems to vary at times the main heart of it stays the same.  I pray that God would watch over my children all of the days of their lives, that their heart would be soft to things of God, and that their ears would hear his voice.

     It has been a beautiful, simple part of our everyday life. My kids now won’t go to sleep without “praying the prayer”.

    Grab your FREE Deeper Life Beginners Guide and join our community of moms who are hungry for more of Jesus in their lives and in the lives of their children.

     

     

     

    If you try any of these activities, let us know! Leave a comment, and don’t forget to follow Most Important Work on Pinterest. about you? What are your favorite ways to increase your child’s awareness of God? 

     If you try any of these activities, let us know! Leave a comment, and don’t forget to follo

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