3 Steps To A Spectacular Kid’s Ministry Group That Matters

Reading Time: 3 min 3 sec

I dropped my head in my hands and sighed. A sense of dissatisfaction eked into my soul. I must be missing something. Why is it that every Monday starts with such a promise? I have these great intentions of working ahead, dreaming, evaluating, or even time spent recruiting.

Instead, my week seems to fly by in an endless cycle of crisis management. I feel like I am constantly behind as I run to fill volunteer slots, send out newsletters, attend staff meetings, and prep for upcoming events.

I want to build a Kids ministry that is more than checking a box. I want to create a ministry where kids’ lives are transformed. If only I could stop the relentless clock of Sunday morning long enough to figure out how to get there. This isn’t what I signed up for…

Today, we will talk about three steps to building a spectacular ministry group that actually matters.

Point #1- Pro-Active Vs. Reactive

Point #2- Wonder

Point #3- Seek Wisdom

1. Point #1-Pro-Active vs. Reactive

A quick stop at your local bookstore will overwhelm you with the endless variety of leadership styles available. We could easily dive down the leadership rabbit hole, never to return. We want to focus on briefly addressing a reactive and proactive style of ministry.

A reactive leader spends their days running around putting out fires. They are great at problem-solving. And though they passionately care about their ministry, they can live in the moment and never take the time for big-picture planning. This leadership style, left unchecked, can be stressful, and exhausting, and can quickly lead to burnout.

A proactive leader on the other hand can see the big picture. They are gifted at making sure they meet their long-term goals. They can get so caught up in planning for the future that they can struggle to address daily issues promptly.

I am here to advocate that as leaders, we need to develop both our proactive and reactive skill sets. Have you ever heard the phrase, “What gets talked about gets done?” My variation on that is, “What gets scheduled gets done.” We need to block out and protect time in our weekly schedules to focus on our long-term goals, otherwise daily tasks will dictate our ministries.

At the same time, we need to develop healthy flexibility, understanding that the needs of our pastoral role do not always match a pre-planned schedule. A healthy ministry can’t run on autopilot. Like anything else, it needs regular evaluation and maintenance.

Next Steps- Are you a reactive or proactive leader? If you have not already, block out time on your schedule to focus on evaluation and long-term planning. Set up safeguards to protect that time on your schedule (i.e. set a reminder on your phone, turn your phone to silent, and treat it as a standing meeting on your schedule). Check out Trello. It is a free, visual time management software that has been very helpful in my own ministry setting.

2. Point #2- Wonder

You have blocked out your schedule…now what? These last two steps are not in any sequential order. I would encourage you to write down your vision or goal for your kid’s ministry. Start with this exercise if you are struggling to articulate a vision for your ministry.

What are the characteristics of a child that has just graduated from your ministry? What do you want them to have experienced, learned, and developed while in your kid’s ministry group? What tools do you want them equipped with?

Imagine one of your families has just graduated their last child from kid’s ministry. What would you have wanted them to have experienced, learned, and developed as a family in your church? Duplicate this process with your volunteer team as well.

Don’t rush through this process. Give yourself time to research, to learn how kids connect best with Jesus. Don’t forget to incorporate your church’s vision and purpose in your overall plan for kid’s ministry. You want to confirm that your vision for the kid’s ministry is in step with the overall vision of the church. The last thing you want to do is to create a silo ministry that is not working in tandem with the rest of the church. The vision for your ministry is the foundation upon which everything else is built. This can sound overwhelming, but as the saying goes, “Rome was not built in a day.”

Next Steps: Check out organizations like the Children’s Spirituality Summit for the latest research on the Christian spiritual development of kids. They offer a conference every year where pastors and educators encourage, brainstorm, and learn together. They also publish all of the keynote topics from the conference in a book which you can find on Amazon. I buy it every year it’s that helpful.

3.Point #3-Seek Wisdom

Even the best vision cannot happen in isolation. We need to take the time to hear from God. It can be challenging to hear from him on a deadline. I would encourage you to utilize several days of your blocked-out time to create space to be with Jesus. Take a prayer retreat or a walk to a park.

If you don’t do this regularly, here are some helpful tips to get you started.

Silence your cell phone (or leave it at home). Go for a walk, sit at a park, or in a quiet place. Nature is one of the primary ways where people meet with God.

Spend a period in silence, practicing listening for his voice. Present your heart to God. Sit with him and ask him for his timing, direction, and wisdom. Take your time, and don’t rush this experience.

Talk with your uplink or boss and express your vision for ministry. Ask for their input and wisdom. What do they see that you don’t see? Spend time in prayer, asking God for his wisdom and grace. Discuss the best time and way to implement the new vision. People have a hard time overall with change. So give yourself and others grace as you move slowly, faithfully implementing God’s vision for your kid’s ministry.

Putting in the work by scheduling time, envisioning a better ministry and seeking out wisdom takes effort but it will provide a framework for a transformational ministry. My prayer for you is that your children’s ministry will thrive and you will witness your kids connecting with Jesus in powerful ways each week.

If you want to know how to get started in transforming your Kid’s Ministry: grab our 8 Primary Ways Kid’s Meet With Jesus Guide (below). And join the MIW Community of children’s pastors who are hungry to lead a transformative Children’s Ministry.

What about you? What is your #1 issue when it comes to developing your Kid’s Ministry? Leave a comment, and don’t forget to follow Most Important Work on Pinterest!

30 Powerful Scriptures You Need To Pray When You Wake Up

Reading Time: 2 min 8 sec

Does your prayer life ever feel stuck? You wake up in the morning, and carve out time to pray only to stare into empty space? There is so much you could say that it can feel overwhelming. And frankly, prayer can at times, feel like so much effort.

Eugene Peterson, the author of The Message Bible, says that “In order to be effective, prayer has to be the first thing we do, not the last.”

Do you struggle with wondering what to say when you pray? Are you stuck in a rut of praying the same things on repeat? Do you long for depth in your prayers?Luckily for us, God gave us a cheat sheet to praying when we are exhausted. Scripture provides us with ready-made prayers with depth.

Scripture provides us with a model of how to pray. Scripture gives us words for our pain, our frustration, our anger, our joy, our delight, and our deepest desires. Praying scripture teaches us how to share life’s ups and downs with God.

We have provided 30 scriptures to help you transform your prayer life today.

1. Prayer Life: How To Pray Scripture

2. Prayer Life: Scriptures

1. Prayer Life: How To Pray Scripture

“The goal of reading the Word is to listen for the voice of the God who speaks.” Eugene Peterson

Here are some practical ways to use scripture to pray.

a. Invite God’s presence into this prayer time.

b. Read through the different passages of scripture. Choose one that you feel drawn to today.

c. Read the scripture slowly. Ask God to speak to you through the verses.

Write and adapt the verses as a prayer in your journal. Add your name where it applies in the verse.
Read aloud the verses adapting them as a prayer from you to God.
Doodle your prayer (thoughts, feelings, images that the scripture brings up) to God.

d. Listen for God’s voice after you have communicated your prayer to him.

e. Conclude your prayer time thanking God for being present to you during this time.

You can also download a copy of these verses above. Check out this article for how to spend time with God when you feel awkward.

2. Prayer Life: Scriptures

Here is a list of thirty scriptures to pray. You will notice that a number of these suggestions are passages not single verses. I would encourage you not to be intimidated by the length. Pray and ask the Holy Spirit to draw you to the verse that you need in this season of your life.

“It is better in one year to have ten good verses transferred into the substance of our lives than to have every word of the Bible flash before our eyes.” Dallas Willard

The goal is not to accomplish praying all the verses on the list. The goal is to allow the Holy Spirit to transform your soul through scripture. You might sit with a verse or passage for a week, month, or even a year. That’s perfectly okay. 🙂 These verses are to serve as a catalyst for your own practice of praying of God’s word.

You can also check out this article for 30 powerful verses that destroy toxic anxiety.

Identity

1 John 3:1, “What marvelous love the Father has extended to us! Just look at it—we’re called children of God! That’s who we really are. But that’s also why the world doesn’t recognize us or take us seriously, because it has no idea who he is or what he’s up to.”

Psalm 139:13-16, “Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother’s womb. I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration—what a creation! You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, The days of my life all prepared before I’d even lived one day.”

Luke 6:35-36 “I tell you, love your enemies. Help and give without expecting a return. You’ll never—I promise—regret it. Live out this God-created identity the way our Father lives toward us, generously and graciously, even when we’re at our worst. Our Father is kind; you be kind.”

Thanksgiving

Psalm 107:8-9, “Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for mankind, for he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.”

1 Chronicles 16:34, “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.”

Psalm 100:1-4, “On your feet now—applaud God! Bring a gift of laughter, sing yourselves into his presence. Know this: God is God, and God, God He made us; we didn’t make him. We’re his people, his well-tended sheep. Enter with the password: “Thank you!” Make yourselves at home, talking praise. Thank him. Worship him.”

Psalm 9:1-2, “I’m thanking you, God, from a full heart, I’m writing the book on your wonders. I’m whistling, laughing, and jumping for joy; I’m singing your song, High God.

Lamentations 3:22-23, “God’s loyal love couldn’t have run out, his merciful love couldn’t have dried up. They’re created new every morning. How great your faithfulness!”

Rest

Mathew 28:11-30, “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

Psalm 4:8, “In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety.”

Psalm 23, “The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.”

Surrender

Psalm 37:3-5, “Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

Psalm 25:4-5, “Show me your ways, Lord, teach me your paths Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.

Philippians 2:5-8, “Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself. He had equal status with God but didn’t think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what. Not at all. When the time came, he set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, became human! Having become human, he stayed human. It was an incredibly humbling process. He didn’t claim special privileges. Instead, he lived a selfless, obedient life and then died a selfless, obedient death—and the worst kind of death at that—a crucifixion.”

John 15:5-8, “I am the Vine, you are the branches. When you’re joined with me and I with you, the relation intimate and organic, the harvest is sure to be abundant. Separated, you can’t produce a thing. Anyone who separates from me is deadwood, gathered up and thrown on the bonfire. But if you make yourselves at home with me and my words are at home in you, you can be sure that whatever you ask will be listened to and acted upon. This is how my Father shows who he is—when you produce grapes, when you mature as my disciples.

Love

Ephesians 3:17-19, “And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, you’ll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ’s love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God.”

John 15:9-10, “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love.”

1 Corinthians 13:4-8, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”

Luke 6:35, “But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.”

Psalm 143:8, “Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life.

Fear

Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

1 Peter 5:7, “Live carefree before God; he is most careful with you.”

Philippians 4:6-7,” Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.”

Isaiah 41:10, “Don’t panic. I’m with you. There’s no need to fear for I’m your God. I’ll give you strength. I’ll help you. I’ll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you.”

Luke 12:22-24, “Don’t fuss about what’s on the table at mealtimes or if the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your inner life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the ravens, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, carefree in the care of God. And you count far more.”

Strength and Protection

Psalm 18:1-2, “I love you, God—you make me strong. God is bedrock under my feet, the castle in which I live, my rescuing knight.”

Isaiah 40:29-31, “He energizes those who get tired, gives fresh strength to dropouts.For even young people tire and drop out, young folk in their prime stumble and fall. But those who wait upon Godget fresh strength. They spread their wings and soar like eagles, They run and don’t get tired, they walk and don’t lag behind.”

Psalm 46:1, “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.”

Ephesians 6:13-18, “Be prepared. You’re up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it’s all over but the shouting you’ll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You’ll need them throughout your life. God’s Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other’s spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out.”

Psalm 32:7, “You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.”

If you want to know how to get started in living a deep life with God; grab our Deeper Life Beginners Guide (below). And join our community of moms who are hungry for more Jesus in their lives and in the lives of their families.

What about you? Have you practiced praying scripture? If so, what was your experience? Leave a comment, and don’t forget to follow Most Important Work on Pinterest!

How to Create A Stress-Free Homeschool

Reading Time: 3 Min. 8 Seconds

I sat down late at night and did a google search of how to homeschool. I had no idea that there were (what felt like) a thousand different ways to teach my child. Terms like Classical, Montessori, Waldorf, Unschooling, Charlotte Mason, and Eclectic overwhelmed my thoughts.

I hadn’t even started researching state laws and I already feel overwhelmed. Why I thought, does this have to be so complicated? I stared at the screen feeling alone, discouraged, and wishing I had someone to help make sense of this mountain of information.

Have you ever felt the same way? Have you and your spouse talked about homeschooling but you are not sure where to start? Are you already homeschooling but it’s just not working and you can’t figure out why? Do you have questions about socialization, curriculum, schedules, and homeschool groups? Do you worry about how to teach your child subjects that you bombed as a kid?

I talk with moms who are overwhelmed, confused, and stressed out after attempting to wade through all of the homeschool information out there. There are so many different and often conflicting viewpoints that it can feel like trying to find a needle in a haystack.

Wouldn’t it be amazing if a veteran homeschool mom could walk beside you on this journey, simplifying all of the information out there into one spot? Someone who could help you to craft your ultimate homeschool experience while saving you hundreds if not thousands of dollars on useless curriculum, hours of stress and anxiety, and needless work?

1. Professional Development

2. What Is Zero To Homeschool?

3. Why I Love It

4. Why It Might Not Be A Good Fit

1. Professional Development

Many of us are coming from one-income families and we are trying to homeschool on a budget. We research, research, and research trying to make our resources stretch. An online course can seem like a luxury.

Please, don’t make the mistake of putting your ongoing education at the bottom of the priority list. As your child’s main teacher, you directly affect your homeschool environment. When you are confident and operating out of a proactive instead of reactive stance, it changes how you homeschool.

Invest in your ongoing education, and save yourself (and your kids) years, buckets of tears, and thousands of dollars trying to piece together a homeschool structure that works.

2. Overview of Zero To Homeschool

Zero to Homeschool is a step by step online course that empowers moms with the hands-on training to create a homeschool environment that is tailored to your family’s needs.

The course was created by a veteran homeschool mom; someone who answers your questions, encourages you in your role as a teacher, and fills you with the confidence you need to thrive as a homeschool mama.

The course is very comprehensive with 8 modules, 59 lessons, and three bonus workshops. The course is self-paced so you can take it at a time that works best for your schedule.

It teaches you everything from the importance of deschooling, knowing yourself and your family, homeschool styles and resources, how to plan your homeschool year, juggling home life and homeschooling, and so much more.

3. Why I Love It

I was blown away at how comprehensive the Zero to Homeschool course is. I kept startling my family, as I went through each module, yelling, “YES!” to each main point.

I just did Module 3 of Zero to Homeschool and I learned a lot. Now instead of allowing myself to get spread too thin with all the things we could do, I was able to refocus on our family’s key priorities.

What I love is that this course is honest about the strengths and pitfalls of homeschooling. Kelly, the course creator, takes an overwhelming subject and simplifies it into bite-size pieces. I also love that it’s not just lessons but also practical activities that help you apply what you have learned to your homeschool.

For instance, she includes follow up questions to talk about the material with your spouse or friend. She also includes additional articles, and e-books so you can dive down deep into topics that might interest you.

4. Why It Might Not Be Right For You

If your homeschool is doing well. Woohoo! Go You!
If you are drawn to a very structured approach to homeschooling.

You can Register and find out more information about the Zero to Homeschool course here!

Are you wondering HOW do you actually get started homeschooling? Join our community of moms who want to invest in the lives of their children through homeschooling. I also created a 10 Tips to Finding Excellent Curriculum form to help you on your journey.

What about you? What is the #1 thing in Homeschooling that is most challenging for you? Leave a comment, and don’t forget to follow Most Important Work on Pinterest!

How to Homeschool When You Hate Certain Subjects

Reading Time: 5 Minutes

Do you ever wonder how to homeschool when you hate certain subjects? Do feelings of inadequacy overwhelm you when you think about teaching subjects you flunked? Did you have such a miserable experience that you don’t want to touch the subject with a ten-foot pole?

I despised math as a child. The endless problems, rote memorization, and puzzles that I never seemed to solve made my brain hurt. I seriously dreaded every math lesson and swore that when I grew up I would never do another math problem for as long as l lived.

Enter homeschooling.

I had a knot in my stomach at the thought of teaching my precious children the mysteries of math. I seriously reconsidered homeschooling. Only the thought of my children going through something similar squelched my fear.

We all have certain areas of study that we have a hard time grasping; whether its academics, life skills or interpersonal challenges. In a nutshell, we are human.

What is encouraging is that you know how hard you worked to grasp a subject. You know the potential hang-ups and you have the flexibility of teaching a small group of children.

This means that with a little out of the box thinking, you can explore your most hated subjects and survive (and even thrive). We are going to talk about the ways and resources that you can use to successfully teach subjects that you despise.

1. Keep An Open Mind

2. Teach Differently

3. Utilize Resources

1. Keep An Open Mind

Our children are like ninja warriors that instantly pick up on our feelings, especially when it comes to different aspects of learning. Though I wouldn’t encourage mass hysterics, there is no use trying to mask your past challenges.

It means A LOT to your child when you acknowledge your previous difficulties with a subject. To a child, it is endlessly fascinating to think that mom isn’t great at everything. This act of vulnerability teaches your child that we don’t have to excel in everything we study. It’s freeing to know that we are each created uniquely with different gifts and talents.

I am not saying that we don’t wrestle with a concept or idea, but that we each have certain aptitudes that make different subjects easier or more difficult, based on the person.

Ask your child if you can work as a team to learn this subject together. This is the skill of life-long learning in action people. Working side by side to master an area of learning communicates crucial values that will live on in the life of your child.

Be encouraged, just because you hated this area of study before does not mean you won’t enjoy it now. At least this time around, you have the secret power of the answer key and a Google search at your fingertips.

2. Teach Differently

I remember excitedly walking into a language class, dreaming of travel. And walking out of that class swearing to never leave my native shores. My teacher overwhelmed us with busy work and drills, effectively squelching our interest in a foreign language. I remember thinking as I struggled to complete my weekly homework assignment that nothing was worth this misery.

In comparison, I once had an English class where the teacher was a master at fostering a love of classical literature. She made dry, dusty books come alive through insightful questions and spirited debate. It was such a popular class that there was always a waiting list a mile long. Even students who had zero interest in literature thoroughly enjoyed the class.

So, what was the difference between the two classes? The language teacher adopted a firehose mentality to teach her students. She believed that data dumping meant effective learning.

The English teacher on the other hand creatively invited all students to participate by using a variety of tools. She thoroughly loved what she taught and her enthusiasm was magnetic.

How you teach can make or break a class.

You don’t have to teach or co-learn this subject the same way you were taught. You have the freedom to teach outside of the box and to use a plethora of resources. You don’t have to stick to a curriculum or method of study because of a classroom or school district mandate.

You know your child better than anyone else. You know their strengths and weaknesses, you know they learn and grow. You have the freedom to tailor-make their education to fit your child and your teaching style.

Here are a couple of questions to think about:

A. What made the subject you hated challenging? (Was it the course material? How it was communicated?)

B. How do you learn best? (Do you love or dread textbooks etc.?)

C. What type of study gives you life?

D. How does your child learn best?

E. What type of study gives your child life?

You will need to reach a middle ground between how you teach and how your child learns. For instance, if textbooks fill you with dread but your child loves the fill in the blank answers; try a workbook or an online program instead.

You will be more likely to teach the subject consistently when you don’t dread using a certain method or tool.

3. Utilize Resources

These days there are an endless amount of resources at our fingertips. After you have discovered how you and your child learn best, don’t be afraid to utilize unorthodox tools.

What I love about out of the box learning is that you get to make memories while your child is getting an education. Here is a list of resources that you can explore to help you teach challenging subjects well.

Resource List

Check out local Facebook Homeschool groups for information on local homeschooling classes or co-ops.

Check out your City Homeschool Group. They will have a listing of the available classes, tutors, field trips, co-ops, conferences, etc.

Check out HSLDA (Homeschool Legal Defense) for a list of Homeschool Co-Ops by state.

Visit a Local Homeschool support group and ask for more information about upcoming opportunities.

Check out the vast resources of the library. Tutoring help, curriculum, free software, online tutoring, curriculum from around the US, etc. Here is a step by step guide here.

Look for Internships

College Classes for High School Students

Tutoring -Online and locally (Some libraries offer free tutoring)

Bribe Family and friends (Always a win! )

Check out Local Community Clubs on your city website.

Check Local Parenting website for additional city opportunities.

Check out museums for classes.

Some Local Public Schools allow you to register your child for specific classes.

Utilize great computer programs.

Go on field trips related to that area of study. And create memories that will last a lifetime!

Read A lot of Living Books!

Are you wondering HOW do you actually get started homeschooling? Join our community of moms who want to invest in the lives of their children through homeschooling. I also created a 10 Tips to Finding Excellent Curriculum form to help you on your journey.

What about you? What subject is most challenging for you to teach? Leave a comment, and don’t forget to follow Most Important Work on Pinterest!

The Fear Of The Lonely Homeschooler

Reading Time: 4 min 58 sec

I pushed my cart up to the checkout counter at my local grocery store. My cashier was an early twenty-something who just oozed personality. I swear, part of the job description for working at this grocery store is the ability to make small talk. She immediately launched into how my day was going, which inevitably led to asking questions to my kids.

There is a running joke (and a thousand memes) regarding the comment’s homeschoolers receive at the grocery store. Let me warn you, inquiries don’t all come from people over the age of sixty.

After discovering that my kids were homeschooled (it was 10am on ordinary Wednesday after all) her first comment was to say that she would love to homeschool her future kids but her boyfriend would never agree. She then went on to disclose his fear (and her own) about how would her kids be socialized when they were at home ALL THE TIME.

I wanted to point out that my kids were in fact out of the house and Socializing right now, but that didn’t seem very helpful. 🙂

The fear of the lonely (or socially inept) homeschooler is one of the top concern’s parents have when deciding whether or not to homeschool. We worry about whether or not our kids will be able to function in the various situations that life presents them. Will they be able to make friends? Will they be able to interact with others? We all sincerely want to do what’s best for the future of our kids. So how do we raise children outside of the school walls who can function well within society?

1.What Is Socialization?

2. The Fear of Being Different

3. The Real-Life Truth

1. What Is Socialization?

The heavy emphasis on the importance of socialization is not limited to homeschooling. Before our kids are born we are inundated with the significance of socialization.

This is aptly described in the popular tv show The Office, where Pam the lead character, mentions that it’s good her child is going to the nursery because then it could have some time to socialize with the other babies.

Do we ever stop and ask ourselves what exactly is socialization? What are we working so hard to accomplish FOR our children?

We all assume socialization means interacting with others but that is only one facet. The Merriam-Webster dictionary states that socialization is defined as, “the process beginning during childhood by which individuals acquire the values, habits, and attitudes of a society”.

Just think about that for a second.

“ ..by which individuals acquire the values, habits, and attitudes of a society.”

We need to know what we are striving so hard to accomplish in our child’s life. We need to come to terms with the goal of socialization and decide for ourselves how much influence we want society to have in the life of our child.

2. The Fear of Being Different

Why do we all imagine homeschoolers as nerds who live under a rock only come out for food and chess tournaments? In my opinion, I believe that part of the real reason we are stressing the importance of socialization is due to fear.

We are deathly afraid that our child will be seen as different. We worry about what our friends will think if our child does behave the same as his or her peers. We wonder if we are setting our child up for future bullying or that they will grow up naive and unable to function in society. We are deathly afraid that our kids will grow up to be the oddball out.

When we experience fear, a good exercise is to list out the worst-case scenarios. When you take the time to name the fears they suddenly get smaller. You are able to figure out what fears are valid and need to explore further (through further research, discussion with your spouse, or prayer).

And you are able to decide what fears are irrational and need to be seen for what they are. Sometimes fear can become so overwhelming that it keeps us from taking a look at the big picture.

Now, the general point of education is so that we can raise functioning members of society. If that is our goal, why do we think it is crucial to have our child’s physiological, moral, and social development shaped eight hours a day by twenty-five peers who come from families whose values are far different than our own?

Do we really want our children to be influenced by kids who the only reason they are together is that they were born in the same calendar year? Or do we want to surround our kids with the best and the brightest? Encouraging them to interact with people of all ages and nationalities?

There is really no other time in my child’s life where they will be surrounded for eight hours a day with a group of people all the same age. Really from the moment we graduate high school, we are expected to be able to interact in groups with people of all different ages. I want to prepare my child for life, not school.

3. The Real Life Truth

So, let’s talk homeschool reality. The basis of homeschooling is living life together in community. Even if I would like to buy a tiny home and live out in the middle of the woods, I still have milk to buy, dentists to visit, and that’s just the boring stuff.

What I am trying to say is that by homeschooling your children are learning how to interact with different types of people in different settings EVERY DAY. They don’t need a specific class on it. 🙂

In addition to real life situations, there are also a plethora of activities that are available to your child. These are great places for your children to form friendships and interact with children and adults of all ages.

There are co-ops where homeschooling moms get together and teach their favorite subjects (so you don’t have to teach the ones you hate). There are field trips, sports, neighborhood, and church activities, and specialized programs and internships. The list literally goes on and on and on.

To finish the tale of my grocery store experience. I settled for a quick response to the cashiers’ questions by listing all of the opportunities my children have to socialize. I am going to assume that she was in a state of shock when she said, “Wow. I guess they really do have time with other kids. I guess you don’t have to be afraid your kids will be weird.”

No, cashier lady, I am not afraid my children will be weird. I am excited that they get to experience the world as their playground.

Mamas, let’s say no to fear and embrace the possibilities.

Are you wondering HOW do you actually get started homeschooling? Join our community of moms who want to invest in the lives of their children through homeschooling. I also created a 10 Tips to Finding Excellent Curriculum form to help you on your journey.

What about you? What are your top concerns when it comes to socialization? Leave a comment, and don’t forget to follow Most Important Work on Pinterest!