How To Pray When It Feels Like God Isn’t Listening

How To Pray When It Feels Like God Isn’t Listening

  

Reading Time: 5 min 46 sec

Have you ever wondered if God is off taking a vacation when you pray? Okay, maybe not a vacation, but it seems like every time you call out to him, you are met with deafening silence. You secretly wonder if you are doing something wrong.  All your friends, your pastor, people at church are always mentioning, God said this…or I hear God today.. and you are like, “WAIT, did I miss the memo? Did God show up today and I didn’t hear about it?”  

 

The fact that you must be defective, or a really immature Christian, festers in the back of your brain, you feel embarrassed, and you try to mask the fact that apparently you and God aren’t on speaking terms. You push your prayer frustrations to the side until one day you are confronted with pain.

 

Whether the death of a loved one, frustration at work, a rebellious teen, violence in the world, something stirs your heart, and you cry out to God, “God, where are you? I am in agony. I am confused. I am frustrated. You say you love me, but where are you when I need you? All I get is silence. Am I doing something wrong? Do you not love me? Where are you? I need you now.”

 

If that’s you, keep reading…

  1. Playing Hide and Seek with God 

2. The Invitation 

3. Practice Showing Up 

 

 

1. Playing Hide and Seek With God 

 

 So where is God? Seriously, it can seem like every time we desperately need to hear from him, he is off saving the world. What about us? Where is he, when we call out in our pain?  Does he even care?       Psalm 139:1-12 gives us explicit directions as to where God is hanging out.

 

It says, “God, investigate my life; get all the facts firsthand. I’m an open book to you; even from a distance, you know what I’m thinking. You know when I leave and when I get back; I’m never out of your sight. You know everything I’m going to say before I start the first sentence. I look behind me and you’re there, then up ahead and you’re there, too—your reassuring presence, coming and going.

This is too much, too wonderful. I can’t take it all in!  Is there any place I can go to avoid your Spirit? To be out of your sight?

 If I climb to the sky, you’re there!  If I go underground, you’re there! If I flew on morning’s wings to the far western horizon,You’d find me in a minute—you’re already there waiting!

Then I said to myself, “Oh, he even sees me in the dark! At night I’m immersed in the light!” It’s a fact: darkness isn’t dark to you; night and day, darkness and light, they’re all the same to you.”

 

Is there a word or phrase that jumps out at you in this passage?  

 

Do you notice that it says, he knows what we are thinking?  Not just what we are doing, but our very thoughts and that there is no place we can go to avoid his Spirit.

 

King David, the author of this Psalm, was known for having a deep, intimate relationship with God, and out of that intimacy, he shares his experience of God with us.  Now before you think that this is just a picture of David’s relationship with God, David wrote this psalm for the choir director. Meaning this song was written to be sung by people of Israel, proclaiming Gods praises, attesting of Gods’ faithfulness to us.

 

 We read this passage and tell ourselves, yes, of course, God is with me.  Any person who has been a Christian for longer than five minutes knows that God never leaves us or forsakes us.

 

 We know this truth mentally but it sure doesn’t feel like he is present.  So, if we can’t outrun, out hide, or out fly, the love of God than why can’t I hear his voice?

 

 

2. The Invitation

 

I was having a conversation with an acquaintance, and halfway through, I noticed that her eyes kept drifting, and she was looking very distracted.  All throughout our conversation, she kept smiling and nodding to the people around me. Needless to say, it was a very distracting conversation for both of us.

 

We can fall into this same trap in our conversations with God.  We are either so desperate for an answer that we spend the entire time shouting our requests to God. Or we say a five-second prayer, wait for a moment or two, and then rail at him when he doesn’t show up in a miraculous way.

 

Anthony Bloom, a spiritual writer says it this way, “We complain that God does not make himself present to us for the few minutes we reserve for him, but what about the twenty-three and a half hours during which God may be knocking at our door and we answer, “I am busy. I am sorry.” Or when we do not answer at all because we do not even hear the knock at the door of our heart, of our mind, of our conscience, of our life.”

 

 God loves spending time with you.  He is not hiding or playing games with you. He genuinely loves to hear your voice. And he is presenting you with a Grand Invitation. He is inviting you to go deeper into a love relationship with him. He is asking, “I am inviting you to spend time with me?”

 

He is asking you to invite him into your entire day, not just the twenty minutes you spend reading the Bible each morning.

 

 So how can we practically be present with God all throughout the day? How can we give him more than a distracted conversation in a time of crisis? 

 

3. Practice Showing Up 

 

 Do you ever feel like you are wasting your time when you sit down to have devotions and nothing seems to happen? That there are so many other responsibilities clamoring for your attention, taking twenty minutes out of your day can seem well, a lavish extravagance.  

 

You go through the motions of reading a Bible passage or filling in the answers in a devotional, and at times it can just seem…well boring. (GASP!) Yes, I did say boring, because frankly, devotions can be boring.

 

I got bored. I wanted something more than filling my head with facts about God (though it is an important part of our faith), I wanted to actually have a living, breathing experience of God. I wanted what Daniel, David, Esther, Mary, and countless others had with Jesus. I wanted to have a real relationship with him. 

 

To have a deep relationship with him, we must be active participants in our conversations with God. Setting aside distractions (or at least keeping them at bay), and engaging in talking and listening to God. And here is the key part…even when it feels like nothing is happening.   

 

It seriously is about the practice of showing up, day after day and laying down our agenda for his.  Asking God that he would spark a deeper desire for more of him in our hearts.

 

Here are some suggestions of practical things that you can use throughout your day as a reminder to be present to Jesus.

 

1. Light or use a battery powered candle to remind you that God is with you and in you.

 

2. Place a small cross in your pocket. Every time you touch it serves as a reminder to turn your focus back to Jesus.

 

3. Set reminders on your phone. You can label them with messages, like “You are a beloved child of God.” “How is your day going? Love, God” “I am with you today- Love, God”

 

4. Hang a meaningful symbol from your rearview mirror. Every time you get in the car, let it serve as a reminder to pray.

 

5. Put a picture of Jesus holding a lamb, or with children on the background d of your phone or computer. Let it serve as a reminder that you are a child beloved by God.

 

 

Do you want to learn how to live WITH God? Do you want to experience a deep relationship with Jesus not just find out more facts about him?  Check out Liturgy of the Ordinary by Tish Harrison Warren. This book was pivotal in my own journey, in learning how to be present to God all throughout my day. I LOVE it!

 


What about you? What is your #1 issue when it comes to living life with God?   Leave a comment, and don’t forget to follow Most Important Work on Pinterest!    

[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]
How To Avoid Feeling Like An Inadequate Christian

How To Avoid Feeling Like An Inadequate Christian

  

Reading Time: 5 min 15 sec

The last couple of weeks I hit a major writing block. I would stare at a blank computer screen, for what felt like decades, with just fragments of thoughts. I knew the topic I wanted to explore but every time I went to set pen to paper (or fingers to keys as the case may be) my mind would go completely blank.

 

It was disorienting. I had deadlines to meet, to-dos to cross off and here I was with zip, nada, nothing. As time went on, panic set in, and fear crept up the back of my throat.  Doubts started to plague me.  “Who do you think you are?” it yelled, “You aren’t qualified to write about this topic”.

 

As deadlines came and passed, a cloud of discouragement and fear came with it, whispering in my ear, “You obviously don’t know anything. Sit down and let the professionals handle it.”   

 

Have you experienced the paralyzing fear of inadequacy? Have you worried that if your friends, family, and coworkers really knew you, you would be seen as a failure, a big disappointment, and a fraud?

 

So, what do we do when fear of failure rears its ugly head?  

 

  1. The Imposter

2. Who Am I? 

3. Daily Surrender

 

 

1. The Imposter

 

The Imposter mentality is all around us, we see people filling their lives in a flurry of activity, maintaining superficial relationships, shouting their achievements, all desperately trying to keep the overwhelming sense of emptiness and failure at bay.

 

This crippling fear that we are not enough can paralyze us. We can end up leading lives of stress, pushing ourselves to higher and higher levels of achievement all in the desperate search to find validation. To get some relief from the doubts and fears that harass our thoughts.

 

We can also see this mentality popping up in our relationship with God. We work so hard to do, say, and be all the right things, only to worry that we might be a modern-day Pharisee.

 

Do you ever feel exposed before God?  Do you wonder if he is sitting in heaven passing judgment over our many failures?   If we are honest, we can quickly fall into the trap of feeling like our relationship with God is like a soul-sucking list of “should’s”. 

 

  • I should know the correct way to pray.
  • I should know how to hear from God.
  • I should know more about God.
  • My prayers should sound more spiritual.

 

The list goes on and on.  And so we begin to run on the wheel of performance, trying to prove our worth to God, to others, and trying to fill that hole in our hearts; with a book list, a workshop, a podcast, or a conference. 

 

This exhausting cycle can keep us from embracing all that God has for us. It can keep us from living a life of freedom.

 

 

2. Who Am I? 

 

So, what do we do when we feel the need to find our validation in anything other than God?

 

We need to know who we are.

 

1 John 3:1 says, “What marvelous love the Father has extended to us! Just look at it—we’re called children of God! That’s who we really are. But that’s also why the world doesn’t recognize us or take us seriously, because it has no idea who he is or what he’s up to.”

 

We are called children of God.  God chose us. He knows all of our sin, all of our mistakes, all of our frailties, and yet even then he extended his love to us.  The God of the Universe calls us by name, and showers love upon us.  He knows our innermost thoughts, and yet he still chooses to shower lavish love upon us.

 

Romans 8:32-35 unpacks it with these words, “If God didn’t hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn’t gladly and freely do for us?  

And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God’s chosen? Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us—who was raised to life for us!—is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ’s love for us? There is no way!”

 

There is nothing and no one that can separate us from the love of God.  We don’t have to work for, manipulate, or portray something that we are not in order to gain his acceptance or approval.  

 

He loves us just as we are, no performance necessary.

 

3. Daily Surrender

So how do we live out of our true identity as beloved children of God?  It needs to become a part of our core DNA.  

1. The Imposter

 

The Imposter mentality is all around us, we see people filling their lives in a flurry of activity, maintaining superficial relationships, shouting their achievements, all desperately trying to keep the overwhelming sense of emptiness and failure at bay.

 

This crippling fear that we are not enough can paralyze us. We can end up leading lives of stress, pushing ourselves to higher and higher levels of achievement all in the desperate search to find validation. To get some relief from the doubts and fears that harass our thoughts.

 

We can also see this mentality popping up in our relationship with God. We work so hard to do, say, and be all the right things, only to worry that we might be a modern-day Pharisee.

 

Do you ever feel exposed before God?  Do you wonder if he is sitting in heaven passing judgment over our many failures?   If we are honest, we can quickly fall into the trap of feeling like our relationship with God is like a soul-sucking list of “should’s”. 

 

  • I should know the correct way to pray.
  • I should know how to hear from God.
  • I should know more about God.
  • My prayers should sound more spiritual.

 

The list goes on and on.  And so we begin to run on the wheel of performance, trying to prove our worth to God, to others, and trying to fill that hole in our hearts; with a book list, a workshop, a podcast, or a conference. 

 

This exhausting cycle can keep us from embracing all that God has for us. It can keep us from living a life of freedom.

 

 

2. Who Am I? 

 

So, what do we do when we feel the need to find our validation in anything other than God?

 

We need to know who we are.

 

1 John 3:1 says, “What marvelous love the Father has extended to us! Just look at it—we’re called children of God! That’s who we really are. But that’s also why the world doesn’t recognize us or take us seriously, because it has no idea who he is or what he’s up to.”

 

We are called children of God.  God chose us. He knows all of our sin, all of our mistakes, all of our frailties, and yet even then he extended his love to us.  The God of the Universe calls us by name, and showers love upon us.  He knows our innermost thoughts, and yet he still chooses to shower lavish love upon us.

 

Romans 8:32-35 unpacks it with these words, “If God didn’t hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn’t gladly and freely do for us?  

And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God’s chosen? Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us—who was raised to life for us!—is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ’s love for us? There is no way!”

 

There is nothing and no one that can separate us from the love of God.  We don’t have to work for, manipulate, or portray something that we are not in order to gain his acceptance or approval.  

 

He loves us just as we are, no performance necessary.

 

3. Daily Surrender

So how do we live out of our true identity as beloved children of God?  It needs to become a part of our core DNA.  

“In order for our knowing of God’s love to be truly transformational, it must become the basis of our identity…An identity grounded in God would mean that when we think of who we are, the first thing that would come to mind is our status as someone who is deeply loved by God.”-David Benner

 

Instead of identifying ourselves in what we do, we need to see ourselves for who we are in Jesus. This also means that we have to daily (sometimes hourly) surrender ourselves to God.

 

Every morning I ask God to help me place my value, not in my roles (wife, mother, etc.), or in what I accomplish (or don’t) throughout the day, but as his beloved child. I pray that I would come to experience at deeper and deeper levels that there is nothing I need to do to gain his love or approval.  

 

This takes transparency and humility. We want to always be doing for God.  It can be scary, messy and countercultural to accept and rest in his extravagant love. And I sometimes fail miserably.  I get moving too fast and fall back into the lie that my worth, my very identity is tied up in what I produce.

 

“Genuine transformation requires vulnerability. It is not the fact of being loved unconditionally that is life-changing. IT is the risky experience of allowing myself to be loved unconditionally.”-David Benner

 

In our independent culture, receiving an extravagant gift when we didn’t earn it can be uncomfortable. God has done so much for us, we just want to do our part to pay him back. 

When you learn what it means to just be with God instead of working for God, to experience (not just know about) his lavish love… it’s transformational.

 

When fear and self-doubt threaten to take over, remember God chose you. You are the beloved of the king of all kings.  You don’t need to perform to earn his love.  When you daily surrender your feelings of inadequacy to God, and you walk through life resting in the security that you are enough, just as you are, fear loses its grip. You have nothing to prove.

 

Today is the day.  Lay down fear, the rat race of performance and embrace God’s overwhelming, never stopping, beyond comprehension love.. for you. I promise you your life will never be the same.  

 

 

Do you want to learn how to live out of your true identity as one chosen by God? Check out David Benner’s Surrender to Love. This book was transformational in my own journey to laying down fear and living freely and lightly as a beloved child of God.


 What about you? What is your #1 issue when it comes to living life with God?   Leave a comment, and don’t forget to follow Most Important Work on Pinterest!    

[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]
5 Ways to Recognize the Voice of God When You Are Desperate

5 Ways to Recognize the Voice of God When You Are Desperate

  

Reading Time: 5 min 8 sec

Are you desperate to hear God’s voice? Do you have an issue that you desperately need wisdom on how to solve? Do you hunger to hear God’s voice for yourself?

You are not alone. We all struggle (even the great men and women of faith) with hearing God’s voice at different points in our relationship with him.

 

So, what’s going on? Is God playing some sort of game? Is he trying to make it difficult to have a conversation with him?  You ask, “If he truly loved me why can’t I hear his voice clearly?”

 

One of the reasons we might have a hard time hearing Gods voice is that we barely slow down long enough to hear our own voice. We have a problem and we want ANSWERS yesterday! We rush around bemoaning the fact that we can’t hear from God when we haven’t allowed him to get a word in edgewise. 

 

We are so busy moving, talking with others, and talking at God that no wonder we can’t hear his voice. We want a thunderbolt from heaven when he is talking in a still small whisper.  I love this reminder to slow down and be present with the one, who is ever present with us.

 

1 Kings 19:11-13, “And he said, “Go out and stand on the mount before the Lord.” And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a low whisper. And when Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. And behold, there came a voice to him and said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

 

We are in a relationship with a God who is always talking. He loves us. Period. When you love someone with a never giving up, beyond comprehension love, you don’t hide from them, but delight in spending time with them.

 

 Jesus said it this way in John 15:15, “I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.”

 

So how do we hear from God?

 

We need to practice recognizing his voice. God lives life with us. He is always talking to us. And he is endlessly creative. God can and is speaking to us in a PLETHORA of ways we just need to become aware of his voice.  

Here are five basic ways to recognize his voice. They are to serve as guideposts to help you practice noticing God voice in your everyday life. This is just a starting place, as you come to know God in deeper ways, you will see that he is literally talking to you ALL the TIME and in a multitude of ways.    It’s awesome because you go about your ordinary life having an ongoing internal dialogue with God about EVERYTHING!

 

By taking the time to practice you are taking an active role in participating with the work of the Holy Spirit in your life.

 

Here are 5 basic ways to recognize his voice: 

  1. In the Quiet

2. Godly Council 

3. Intersecting Thoughts

4. The Word of God 

5. In Dreams

 

 

1. In the Quiet

 

I have found that in our fast-paced culture that the very act of carving out space to meet with God can feel like an uphill battle. We are a culture that focuses purely on doing, not the being.  

 

 Jesus modeled how we should come before God in Mark 1:35 “Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.” And in Luke 5:16, “Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.”.

 

Make it priority to spend time with Jesus in quiet. Just be with him in silence for 5-10 minutes (it’s more challenging than you think).  And then let him know what’s on your mind. You have to make spending time with Jesus a priority or it will never happen. 

 

2. Godly Council 

 We always want to jump to getting Godly council but I would encourage you to spend time with God on your own FIRST before you talk with others.  You will be more in tune with listening to the Holy Spirit and will be able to weigh the advice of others.  It’s a given but always make sure that any advice you receive lines up with Scripture.  I would also seek people that you know are pursuing a deep relationship with God.

 

3. Intersecting Thoughts

 

Have you ever been thinking along one path and all of a sudden you are shocked with some thought you know wasn’t from you (typically because it is super Godly :))?  I have had multiple situations over my life where I will be thinking about work, my children, or what to fix for dinner and all of a sudden, I will randomly have someone’s name come to mind.  I know that I wasn’t thinking about that person AT ALL, but I realize that God was trying to get my attention for a reason, and I immediately stop and pray for that person.  I have a number of times where I have had a chance to talk with that person later only to find out that they were going through a crisis at the very moment I was led to pray.  

 

*Always make sure that any intersecting thoughts line up with scripture.

  1. The Word of God

 The number one way you can hear from God is spending time in his word.  I love what Hebrews 4:12 says, “For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.”

Do whatever it takes to sit with scripture, turning it over in your heart, and allowing it, by the power of the Holy Spirit to transform you

5. Dreams

 

Yes, God can speak to you through dreams. Sometimes, I think that is the only time we are still enough that he can get our attention. 🙂   I love how God spoke to many people through dreams throughout the Bible. I have had a number of people close to me hear God through dreams.

 

If you have a dream that you think might be from God, I would first, write it down. Second, make sure it lines up with scripture. Third, I would spend a period of time just praying about it. Fourth, I would ask God if this is something for right now or something for the future.   I have had a couple of close friends experience dreams where God didn’t reveal the interpretation until fifteen years later. 

 

Remember, this is just the starting point. God can speak through worship, nature, art, angelic appearances, books, physical activity, music etc. As you grow deeper in your relationship with God you will come to hear in his still soft voice in a multitude of ways. This is just just the beginning!  

 

If you want to know how to get started in living a deeper life with God; grab your free Deeper Life Beginners Guide (get it below). And join our community of moms who are hungry for more of Jesus in their lives and in the lives of their families. 


What about you? What is your #1 issue when it comes to hearing God’s voice? Feel free to leave me a comment and don’t forget to follow Most Important Work on Pinterest!

[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]
How to Have a Conversation with God

How to Have a Conversation with God

  

Reading Time: 5 min 45 sec

Have you ever felt frustrated trying to figure out how to have a conversation with God?  We know that talking to him is not staring at the ceiling conducting a one-person monologue while God patiently listens, but we are not quite sure how to move past it.

 

Let’s think about this for a second, what if you had a relationship where you only talked with that person when you needed something?

 

You wouldn’t learn the sound of their voice, their humor, their interests, their joy, and their pain. You wouldn’t have a friendship but an acquaintance. There would be no hope of moving past the basic levels of friendship because you have a need-based transactional relationship.

 

I don’t know about you but I want to know the sound of Gods voice, I want to have inside jokes, I want to sit in his presence, I want his voice to be the one I listen for when I wake up, and the last one I talk to before I go to sleep.  I want to have the deepest soul friendship I can possibly have with God.  C.S. Lewis, St. Ignatius, King David, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Billy Graham, Mother Theresa, and countless other unknown people have experienced this type of relationship. 

 

We know we serve a talking God. There are numerous examples in the Bible, starting with Adam and continuing on to the present day. He is always communicating with us. Our role in the conversation is to not only talk, but to practice active listening.

 

Here are four questions that we need to ask ourselves in order to move past a transactional conversation and into a deep soul friendship with Jesus.

 

  1. Are you Ready to Hear from God? 

2. Are you Practicing Listening to God?

3. Are you Spending Time with God? 

4. Are You Pursuing a Soul Friendship with God?

 

 

1. Are you Ready to Hear from God? 

 

There are literally thousands of articles, books, and conferences centered around hearing God’s voice, but have you ever wondered what he will say when you do hear him?  What he will ask of you?    

I love the story of the rich young ruler in Matthew 19:16-22. He comes to Jesus expecting one thing (to be praised for his good deeds), and instead, he gets thrown a curve ball, with the challenge to reorder his life to follow God.

 

 I think a lot of us dream that God will speak to us in the same way he visited Mary or Paul in the New Testament. We want booming voices, angelic appearances, and impressive callings. 

 

                We want to have the distinction among our peers of someone who

                                   hears directly from the Almighty God.  

 

When God calls someone into foreign missions, or ministry we can’t ignore that there is a romantic prestige to the call. Everyone around them knows that they have been called to a life of sacrifice and service. They are applauded, sometimes misunderstood, and generally acknowledged as a Godly, selfless creature.

 

But what about when God calls us to not gossip about our enemies, to load and unload the dishwasher without complaining for 92nd time today, to clean up dog poop, and to encourage our spouse after a long day?  That calling is not remotely romantic, there is no choir singing our praises, and no prestige for being super Godly, it just sounds like a lot of hard work done without an audience. 

 

We need to ask ourselves, are we desperate for a deep love relationship with God?  Or are we trying to find our acceptance and validation in our perceived Godliness?

 

A soul friendship with God is developed not in front of a crowd, but in the daily, mundane moments of our lives. As we invite him more and more into our day, we encounter the lavish love and character of God, and our lives are transformed.

 

2. Are you Practicing Listening to God? 

 

Imagine you get the opportunity to have lunch with Mother Theresa or Billy Graham and you spend the entire time talking incessantly about your thoughts, feelings, and problems, barely coming up for air.  It sounds like crazy behavior because it is crazy behavior!     

 

When you sit down with one of your role models you want to learn and glean everything you can in that precious time.  You ask questions and share your story but you don’t spend the time monopolizing the conversation.

 

Dallas Willard, says it this way, “People are meant to live in an ongoing conversation with God, speaking and being spoken to.” 

 

When you engage in a conversation with God, imagine you are verbally tossing a ball back and forth. Talking is important but you must also practice listening. Unlike talking, listening takes time and effort. The practice of spending time in silence and solitude has really helped me develop my listening skills.

 

A practical suggestion would be to start off by setting a timer for two minutes and just be quiet, focusing on the Father.  You can slowly increase your time with God as the Holy Spirit leads you.  To be real, I have to say that I have found this practice to be challenging, but so CRUCIAL to developing a deep relationship with God.

 

3. Are you Spending Time with God? 

 

We can get a little obsessed with trying to hear Gods voice that we forget that listening to someone is only a part of a relationship with them.  Think about those people in your life where you don’t have to keep the conversation going in order to avoid the awkward PAUSE?  You can just sit and be… No performance, no effort, content just to be in each other’s presence. It sounds so life-giving, right?

 

Unlike our spouse or best friend, God is literally with us all the time.  You come to know him through a balance of talking, listening and EXPERIENCING life together.

 

“Hearing God cannot be a reliable and intelligible fact of life except when we see his speaking as one aspect of his presence with us, of his life in us. Only our communion with God provides the appropriate context for communications between us and him.” ― Dallas Willard

 

Over time, your experience with God, not just your conversation will serve as a framework for recognizing his voice in your life.  When was the last time you stopped and just spent time with God?  No requests. No conversation.  Just enjoying each other’s presence?

A practical suggestion would be to invite him into your favorite activity or hobby. Say something like, “God I invite you into this time. I want to enjoy your presence and just hang out with you as I participate in this hobby/activity.” Then just be aware of his presence with you as engage in the activity. You bring God joy just by showing up and carving time out of your day for him.  

4. Are you Pursuing a Soul Friendship with God? 

It is impossible to form a deep relationship if the extent of your interaction is a quick text message every couple of months.  You have to invest time, energy and effort in order for the new relationship to grow.  This means that instead of using God as a crisis manager you come to him as a best friend, learning to delight in spending time together.

 

“It is much more important to cultivate the quiet, inward space of a constant listening than to always be approaching God for specific direction.”-Dallas Willard

 

 In order for your relationship with God to grow, you need to take an active role in feeding, watering, and spending time in an environment that will help it grow.  Practically, this looks like spending time with God consistently, practicing talking and listening, inviting God into your day, spending time in community with fellow believers, and reordering your life around him.

 

Let’s be honest, as a mom we can live at the mercy of good intentions.  But good intentions don’t build a deep life-giving relationship with Jesus.  I’m sorry but I am not going to wait twenty years until my kids are out of the house to go deep in my relationship with God… I need him now! The foundation of learning to have an ongoing conversation with God is in the little choices you make every single day. I promise you it’s worth it!

 

Are you hungry and ready to experience a deeper life with God? Join our community of moms who are hungry for more Jesus in their lives and in the lives of their families.  

Grab your free Deeper Life Beginners Guide (get it below) to help YOU get started on your journey to a thicker life with Jesus today!

 


What about you? What is your #1 issue when it comes to having a conversation with God? feel free to leave me a comment and don’t forget to follow Most Important Work on Pinterest!

[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]
How to Raise Passionate Thoroughgoing Followers of Jesus

How to Raise Passionate Thoroughgoing Followers of Jesus

  

Reading Time: 4 min 48 sec

I have served in a variety of children’s and youth ministry roles over the years and every fall, I would look forward to that new group of incoming students. Every year, you would have 1 or two students who would just knock your socks off. Not with their magnetic personality (though some of them did) but with their desire to know Jesus.

 

 They were young men and women who were unabashed by their hunger for Jesus, they served others with a humble heart, spoke life over the people around them, and were never content with their current experience of Jesus.

 

They were in a word… Inspiring.

 

The crazy thing is that those same students are now grown, starting their own families, and are still pursuing a life WITH Jesus.

 

What made them so different from their peers?   

 

I believe there are four practical steps YOU can take to influence the spiritual life of your child.

  1. Experience God 

2. Focus on Heart Transformation    

3. Trust in the Holy Spirit

4. You can’t Lead where You Haven’t

   Been

 

 

1. Experience God 

 

Children learn primarily from their experiences.  Think about it, how did your children get to know you? Did they ask other people questions, did they study your family tree, did they spend time talking to others about you?  OR did they experience you from before they were born; the sound of your voice in the womb, the touch of your skin as they entered the world, the snuggles, the safety of your presence, the hugs?  They know you by EXPERIENCE, not by words.

 

A life of faith is not school but a real, breathing, organic relationship with Jesus. Your child needs to experience it, not just hear about it. I am not downplaying the crucial role of the Bible in our lives but we need to marry experience and knowledge together to grow as a thoroughgoing follower of Christ.  You can do this by intentionally including God into your everyday life.  

 

Light a candle to remind you of God’s presence, use art to help you listen to God’s voice, take a walk in God’s creation, observe Sabbath, use play to help focus your child on Jesus words, etc. (See this post for more practical ideas).  Experience is critical for children to establish a strong relationship with Jesus.   

 

2. Focus on Heart Transformation

 

Who doesn’t want your child to behave a civilized member of society? It’s an obvious question, but as parents (myself included) we can quickly move to focus on behavior modification (You do this and you will get x, y, and z) and completely miss the opportunity of heart transformation.

 

The heart can be a tricky place as it is where our thoughts and feelings originate. As parents, we can manage behaviors but the heart is harder to control.   So what can we do to encourage our children to make Godly decisions even when we aren’t around?

 

We cannot by-pass heart work.  We need to look deeper than external behaviors and notice the movement of their hearts.

 

In the book Parenting is Heart Work, the author says it this way; “Motivating Heart change isn’t easy. You can force a child to change behavior, but you can’t force a change of heart. Its deeper work. Helping children change their hearts requires a lot of thought, planning, and prayer. More and more parents are relearning discipline so that they can have a lasting impact on their children.”

 

Prayer is a great and crucial first step in parenting for heart transformation.  We can miss out on a beautiful opportunity if we fall into the trap of praying for our kids only when there is a crisis.  Covering our children in consistent prayer not only teaches us to be sensitive to the movements of their heart, but also gives room for the Holy Spirit to bring about our own heart transformation.   

Prayer is a two-way street, take some time to be silent before God, listening for his voice and being present to him. God is faithful to highlight the issues that you need to be focusing on.

If you are interested in going deeper you can grab the book, Parenting is Heart Work by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller

3. Trust in the Holy Spirit 

 

As parents, we have to have trust in the Holy Spirit. We can try to do everything right and still blow it.  We have to remember that parenting works well only when we are utterly dependent upon God and our huge need for grace.

 

We need to realize (believe, not just say) that on our own we can do nothing, but only by the power of the Holy Spirit, can we make a difference in the spiritual lives of our children. As children are observing the lives of their parents, soaking in their family values, and experiencing Jesus in real ways, they are internalizing all of that information.

 

 “As they are ready, children construct or form their understandings for themselves, with the gracious presence, encouragement, and guidance of God’s Spirit.” Catherine Stonehouse and Scottie May, Listening to Children on the Spiritual Journey.

 

It does not come down to what you say (though that’s still important) but how you model your life WITH God, and through the work of the Holy Spirit that determines how your child views and interacts with God.

 

We need to remember that we are working with the Holy Spirit, not the Holy Spirit working with us. We don’t have to have all the answers or be Super Mom.  What we have to do is place our children before God, and be continually dependent upon the Holy Spirit to shape our parenting. We can rest in the knowledge that the Holy Spirit will be with our child long after they have grown up.

 

4. You Can’t Lead Where You Haven’t Been 

 

Seriously, if you want your child to have a living, breathing, transformational relationship with Jesus, it starts with you. Multiple studies have shown that parents are the primary influencers in the lives of their children. You and your relationship with God set the tone for the culture of your home.  

 

“The greatest parenting tip we could share with you is this: Maintain a strong connection to your Heavenly Father. He offers spiritual guidance and direction to help you work through your own heart issues so you can be more effective with your children.” -Parenting is Heart Work

 

Investing in your relationship with God is one of the most important things you can do for yourself, let alone your children.  When they see you turning to God all throughout the day, when they see you on your knees, when they see serving others, you are a modeling a life lived WITH God.   

 

Grab your FREE Deeper Life Beginners Guide and join our community of moms who are hungry for more of Jesus in their lives and in the lives of their children.

 

 

What about you? What is your #1 concern when it comes to raising Godly children? 

Please feel free to leave me a comment and don’t forget to follow Most Important Work on Pinterest!

[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]
Skip to content