How To Stop Destroying People With Your Words

How To Stop Destroying People With Your Words

  

Reading Time: 6 min 1 sec

Have you ever walked out of a situation wanting to kick yourself over your careless words? More often than I would like to admit, I leave a situation shaking my head, wondering where those words came from.  Why did I feel the need to shred that person to pieces behind their back? Why did I brag about my latest accomplishment? Why did I think it was okay to make a joke at some else’s expense?

 

We justify speaking carelessly, using phrases like, “I’m verbal processer,” or “I don’t want to say anything bad about this person but…”.  We use prayer requests as a weapon to eviscerate others while gaining support for our victim status and to satisfy our need for vindication.

 

We have these images of this picture-perfect Proverbs 31 woman who exemplifies the fruits of the spirit and we wonder HOW ON EARTH DOES SHE DO IT?  It seems like every time we decide not gossip or brag, we last about twelve hours before we blow it.

 

Is guarding your tongue unattainable? Can we actually live lives where our words are full of grace, wisdom, and life?   Where we can walk away from conversations full peace and without remorse?

 

Have you ever met those people who seem to glow with godliness? Where every word seems to radiate with God’s presence? My grandma is a person who gives me hope that reigning in my reckless tongue is possible for anyone.  She is a woman who speaks with wisdom, generosity, bringing peace and life into every conversation. You walk away encouraged, inspired, peaceful and hungry for more of God.

 

So, let’s talk practically about how we can love others well through our speech.

1. Interior Chaos

2. Words of Life

3. Helpful Tools

 

 

1. Interior Chaos 

 

Before we can talk about how, we need to talk about why. Why do we so often speak death over others instead of life?  It could be any number of reasons but some of them might be:

 

1. The need to make ourselves look good

2.The need to be considered valuable

 

3. The need to convince others that we are right

 

We are filled with this interior chaos because we don’t know or truly believe where our true identity is as children of God.

 

 “Chatter crowds out inward conversation with God.” -Jan Johnson

 

I experienced this myself a couple of years ago, while I was on a retreat, I was invited to participate in an exercise. From 9pm to 10am, we were to have a time of silence as a way to be present with God, with limited distractions.

 

I thought, “How hard could it be?” I never realized how much time I spend talking; trying to advocate for my desires, and trying to manage other people’s impressions of me.

 

The next morning was equally illuminating when I discovered that it is hard to have breakfast in a cafeteria in silence. We are programmed from infancy to exchange pleasantries. I wasn’t sure whether to acknowledge other people or totally ignore them. smile

 

It was awkward, humbling, and in a way, freeing.  I could sit there and just rest in God’s presence, stripped of my ability to manage others impressions or expectations of me.

 

I would encourage you to pause and reflect. Bring to mind a recent conversation where you walked away feeling remorse, where you were uncomfortable, or stirred up inside. Remember that God is with you in this moment. Talk to him about your answers to these questions:

 

1. Why did I say what I said?

2. Why was I so stirred by their comments?

3. Why do I care what others think of me?

4. Why do I feel the need to prove my worth to others?

 

 

2.  Words of Life   

 

My father always told me that the mouth always gets you into trouble, and boy is he (and the Bible) spot on.  I love the Message translation of Eph. 4:29 it says, “Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift.”

 

We can all remember situations in our past where someone’s careless words devasted us. Can you imagine if we brought the idea that each word is a gift into every conversation?  Understanding that our words can bring death or life to others?  That our very way of speaking is an act of love to others?

 

When we are intentional in what we say, it cuts out the noise and allows us to listen to the Holy Spirit’s voice.  He has a lot to say about the importance of guarding our tongues. I would encourage you to spend some time with these Biblical passages.

 

Invite God and ask him to speak to you.  Understand that he is with you in this moment.  Choose a passage and read it over slowly. Ask God to highlight a word or phrase. Then spend some time in conversation with God.

 

Proverbs 10:20, “The speech of a good person is worth waiting for; the blabber of the wicked is worthless.”

 

Proverbs 10:32, “The speech of a good person clears the air; the words of the wicked pollute it.”

 

Proverbs 12:6, “The words of the wicked kill; the speech of the upright saves.”

 

Proverbs 14:3, “Frivolous talk provokes a derisive smile; wise speech evokes nothing but respect.“

 

Matthew 5:33-37, “And don’t say anything you don’t mean. This counsel is embedded deep in our traditions. You only make things worse when you lay down a smoke screen of pious talk, saying, ‘I’ll pray for you,’ and never doing it, or saying, ‘God be with you,’ and not meaning it. You don’t make your words true by embellishing them with religious lace. In making your speech sound more religious, it becomes less true. Just say ‘yes’ and ‘no.’ When you manipulate words to get your own way, you go wrong.“

 

 

3. Helpful Tools

So how do normal people walk this out in reality?  This is where spiritual practices and partnering with the Holy Spirit come into play.  Spiritual practices are not some magic formula, they are a way of actively participating in the Holy Spirit’s work in your life.  

As much as we would like God to miraculously give us life-giving speech (though it could happen) he most often uses our daily decisions to transform us into the image of Jesus.  Good intentions don’t form Christ-like qualities, the minute it gets hard we give up.

 

The beauty of spiritual practices is that they give us a practical structure to actively work with the Holy Spirit in the transformation of our souls.  We have to be intentional. An example of that would be to set reminders on our phones, to remind us to be present.

 

It can also be helpful to blow our cover to a spiritual friend. God designed us to grow in relationship with him, in community with others.  It can be encouraging and helpful to discuss how God has been moving in your life.

 

One caveat that we need to be aware of is the temptation to fall into spiritual pride.  Be mindful of your heart motives as you talk about Gods invitation to you to practice a specific discipline.

 

Shower yourself with God’s grace. This experience will be challenging, and at times discouraging. You will fail, again, and again, and again. And that’s okay.  Ask God for grace, and perseverance to get back up and try again today (never tomorrow).

 

If you are feeling drawn to submit your speech to God, then I would encourage you to pick one (maybe two) practice(s) to engage with at a time.

Spend some time in prayer and ask the Holy Spirit to lead you to practical practices. Understanding that you are not committing to use these practices for the rest of your life, but for this season.

The goal is surrender, not perfection. Spiritual practices help us surrender our will to the moving of the Holy Spirit in our lives.  When we are intentional in what we say, it cuts out the noise and allows us to hear to God’s voice.    When choosing a practice, simple is best.

 

There is an amazing story about Dallas Willard, a famous theologian and professor who gives us a practical picture of surrendering his speech to God even when it hurts.

“In one of his classes, a student challenged him with statements that were both offensive and incorrect. Dallas paused and told the class that that was a good place to end their discussion. Somebody asked Dallas afterward why he had not countered the students’ argument and put him in his place. “I’m practicing the discipline of not having to have the last word.”-John Orteberg

 

Here are some ideas that might help get your wheels turning:

 

1. Start your day with prayer surrendering your speech to God. Asking him for his grace when you blow it and perseverance to try again.

2. Practice not interrupting others.

3. Practice being present by truly listening to what others are saying.

4. Be Succinct in order to remove the clutter.

5. Post cards around the house with favorite memory verses or phrases. 

6. Try practicing the discipline of silence.

7. Take a note from Dallas and refuse to have the last word in a conversation.

8. Carry something tactile (a paperclip, hairband, small cross) in your pocket (or purse). Every time you place your hand in your pocket it let it serve as a reminder to surrender your speech to God.

9. Refuse to gossip.

10. In the evening, reflect back over your day. Ask God for his grace and forgiveness when you spoke out of turn. Celebrate the moments where you listened to the Holy Spirit and surrender your will.

 

Hopefully, these ideas will be a great jumping off place for your own practices. I pray that as you reflect over your motives, surrender to Jesus and actively work with the Holy Spirit that God will help you to love others well through your words.

 

If you want to know how to get started in living a deep life with God; grab our Deeper Life Beginners Guide (below). And join our community of moms who are hungry for more Jesus in their lives and in the lives of their families. 

What about you? What is your #1 issue when it comes to watching what you say to others ?   Leave a comment, and don’t forget to follow Most Important Work on Pinterest!   

 

How To Pray When You Are Out Of Words

How To Pray When You Are Out Of Words

  

Reading Time: 4 min 35 sec

I flopped down, my head buried in my hands and gasped to God, “I am here…barely. I got nothing. No words. No thoughts. I don’t even know what to pray.” I just sat there.  My mind, my body just too numb to move.

 

We all go through times in our lives where we are so physically and emotionally depleted that we have no words, no thoughts, and no energy with which to pray. We can feel like we have hit rock bottom with not even enough energy to call out to God for help.

 

This feeling of exhaustion can creep slowly into our lives or hit us like a freight train; one minute we feel fine, and the next we are on the floor gasping for breath. Life changes, busy schedules, addictions, tragedy, fear of the future, sin, or worry, can brutally strip away our feelings of self-sufficiency, leaving us feeling breathlessly vulnerable.

 

These are times when our illusions of control are shattered and we are left staring at the pieces of our lives.  How do we ask God for help when we are a blubbering mess? When we have no idea how to troubleshoot the pain in our lives?  How do we pray when we don’t even know what we need?

1. Remove Distractions

2. Be Present

3. Let Go 

 

 

1. Remove Distractions 

 

It can be easy when we are utterly wiped to sink into a quagmire of intense navel-gazing. You laugh but it can be so true.  We can so quickly turn inward, trying desperately to find the exit out of this hole of misery.  

 

When we are in the depths of despair (a little drama, to see if you are still with me 🙂 we can be so worn out that all we want to do is indulge in activities that numb the pain. Chocolate, longer hours at work, losing ourselves in social media, an increase of activities, you name it, we’ve explored it.

 

We have this idea that going to God is WORK.  We feel already beaten down and we don’t have the mental energy to have a conversation with the almighty God.

 

Before we can even come to God in prayer we have to make a conscious decision to stop burying ourselves in distractions to try to handle the pain. Those distractions are band-aids which do nothing to heal the hemorrhaging inside our hearts.

 

Unlike the world, we can go to God in our agony and know that he can handle anything we put before him. Stepping away from our latest Netflix binge is a way we can actively participate in the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives.  

 

That means that whether we feel like it or not, broken and battered, exhausted and discouraged, we are invited to put down our empty distractions and create space for God to speak.

 

 

2.  Be Present  

 

God, in our place of utter vulnerability, gently invites us into a with God life.  Jesus talking to ordinary people in Mathew 11:28-30 says this,

 

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

 

God is inviting us to learn how to rest and live life with him. We do this by setting aside distractions and THEN making the conscious decision to spend time with Jesus. Easier said, then done, right?

 

Even when we go to spend time with God, it can be a challenge to remain present with him.  It can be so easy to move into a place of mental gymnastics, desperately trying to figure out solutions to our issues on our own.

 

So how can we be present with the one who is ever present with us?  

 

Here are Some Ideas:

 

  1. Invite God into this moment. Ask for his grace to help you be with him. If you get distracted, gently pull your thoughts back towards him. This is a time where there are no expectations. You are just intentionally carving out time to be with God. No words are necessary.

 

  1. Take a walk or sit in silence with God. Notice the intricacies of creation around you.

 

  1. Pull out blank paper and colored pencils or paints. Start doodling what’s on your heart. No rules.

 

  1. Spend some time drawing words that encapsulate how you are feeling. Ask God to speak to you during this time.

 

  1. Read Matthew 11:28-30 slowly several times. Is there a word or phrase that jumps out at you? Bring it before the Lord and just sit with it. What would look like to live freely and lightly?

 

It can feel awkward to initially be quiet before God.  You can feel this pressure like you should be doing something.  But the amazing thing about friendship with God is that you can sit together in the good and tough times and find rest in his presence.  

 

3. Let Go 

When we present ourselves, the Holy Spirit is faithful to show up, often when we feel like NOTHING is happening.  He serves as our advocate, confidant, and friend. When we are broken, weary, or desperately seeking relief, he goes to bat for us.  

Paul in Romans 8:26-28, describes the role of the Holy Spirit this way,

 

“Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans.

He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.”

 

I love how it says that the Holy Spirit ‘knows us better than we know ourselves’.

Our comfort in times of intense vulnerability and pain is that we don’t have a plan, we don’t have to find the perfect words, we don’t need to know what we need, the Holy Spirit is already at work, advocating for our good.

 

When we actively participate in the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives by being present with God, he is faithful to transform our pain into something beautiful. He brings about the transformation of our souls and a deeper intimacy with the Father.  We live with expectancy knowing God is at work in our lives.

 

If you want to know how to get started in living a deep life with God; grab our Deeper Life Beginners Guide (below). And join our community of moms who are hungry for more Jesus in their lives and in the lives of their families. 


What about you? What is your #1 issue when it comes to talking to God when you have no words?   Leave a comment, and don’t forget to follow Most Important Work on Pinterest!   

 

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Amazing And Affordable Curriculum Ideas for First Grade

Amazing And Affordable Curriculum Ideas for First Grade

  

Reading Time: 10 min 32 sec

 

I don’t know about you, but I love planning for a new school year.  It can feel like a treasure hunt as I comb through various places to find just that right tool to help learning come alive for my child.  I have compiled a list of my favorite resources for a Pre-K and 1stGrade student below.

 

As interest-led, eclectic homeschoolers, we seem to thrive on borrowing from all the different homeschooling approaches and blending it up into something that fits our family just right.  (Yes, it does sound like we are the smoothie of the homeschooling community).  

 

I have found that boxed curriculum doesn’t work for my family. I would find a curriculum that I thought would be a good fit, shell out a couple hundred dollars, only to find to out that I loved the math, was “ehh” about the social studies, and absolutely hated the language arts program.

 

I came to understand that I know my child, I know their strengths and weaknesses, I know the vision and values of my homeschool, and I have found that I am the best person to hand select curriculum. By choosing your own curriculum, you also get a lot more control over the price tag.

 

Our goal is to foster a love of learning in our children. We do that by surrounding them with stacks of beautiful books, interest-led unit studies, interesting people, a plethora of games, real-world experiences, and tons of time spent outdoors.

 

We do use some textbooks, but we don’t feel compelled to finish each one for the sake of completion. We watch carefully for signs of burnout, and might switch to a different tool or resource midway through the semester.

 

We also try to “teach” most subjects together as a family (with the exception of reading lessons).  My children are close enough in age that this really worked well for our family. I say “teach” because a lot of what we do is very interactive, so it also fits our Pre-K child’s attention level.  I have never put together a formal teaching plan for Pre-K because I found that they pick up what they need to know just by living life. smile

 

Here is an overview of some of our top affordable curriculum resources for a 1stgrade (and Pre-K) student.  I have only listed the resources that we have LOVED!

 

I hope this serves as some inspiration for your homeschool adventures this fall! Happy Treasure Hunting! 

 

1.    Language Arts

2. Mathematics

3. Science

4. Social Studies

5. Bible 

6. Art & Music 

1. Language Arts 

Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons

 

This is such a stress-free, zero prep, way to teach a child to read. This book employs the steady, drip, drip, drip mentality. IT WORKS! I love how this book includes not only reading but writing lessons as well.  Worth its weight in gold! 

Poetry For Young People

This is an entire series, that we have used as a part of our weekly poetry tea times. Each book is a compilation of age-appropriate poems from famous poets throughout the years. The Emily Dickenson book was our favorite.

 

Read-Aloud Rhymes For the Very Young

This was a fun book that I would use in addition to the Poetry for Young People series as a part of our poetry tea time.  This book really helped to spark an interest in poetry in my children. They found it very engaging and often hilarious.

 

Cahier d’ecriture-Handwriting

I have always loved the beautiful style of handwriting from France. This book is all in French (you don’t need to know French to use it) and it teaches the fundamentals of great handwriting.  My children have used it a little bit each day and it has so improved their handwriting skills. 

 

 

Story Cubes

 

This is a fun game that uses visual prompts to help foster the imagination and inner storyteller in your child. There are nine cubes with six images on each cube. Each person rolls the cubes and creates a story based on the images. My children have laughed their way through this game.

Reading

 

We read literally hundreds of books, so it would be impossible to list them all. Here are a couple of our top favorites from this past year.

 

A World Full of Animal Stories

 This is a beautiful book full of folk stories from different countries around the world. This book not only sparked great discussions but also introduced the children to different cultures and ways of thought.  One of my children literally couldn’t get enough of this book. Win!

Favorite Audio Books

 

Audiobooks are my favorite way of not only expanding my children’s vocabulary but introducing them to great literature. Children can comprehend far above their own current reading level when they don’t have to take the time to sound out the words. Start small with Curious George, Madeline, or Amelia Bedelia, and transition into longer books like A Bear Called Paddington.  I have found that Audiobooks (when you have young children) work really well in the car when you have a captive audience.

 

Foreign Language

 

YouTube was our friend this year. We loved utilizing a Year of French with Tonton videos.

2. Math

Logic Lollipop Series

 I knew I wanted a supplement to our many logic games. WOW, these books are image-based, fun and perfect for young children. We actually went through the entire series in one year (there are three books) because my children were obsessed with it. LOVE!

 

 

Math Workbooks

We used several math workbooks that I grabbed from our local Dollar store. The workbooks were not necessary (we teach math many different ways) but my kids asked for them, so why not!  They were short, fun and covered the basics of simple math.  You can’t beat $1.00 for a math workbook! 

Life of Fred Series 

Is an amazing alternative to a traditional math book. Written in story form, it follows the adventures of a 5-year-old prodigy named Fred who shows children how math applies to real life.  At the end of every chapter, there are several math questions that pertain to the lesson for your child to answer. My children love this series and beg for more “Fred, Please”!

Games

Here is a list of our favorite math games from this year.

Math Picture Books

(Check out this article for a list of our favorite Math Picturebooks)

  1. Science

The Periodic Table: Elements With Style  

My children wanted to learn more about the Periodic Table thanks to a Magic School Bus Episode on Chemistry. This is a fun book that has one-page profiles for each of the elements. My children loved finding the elements on the Periodic Table each day. Great Resource!

Magic School Bus Chemistry

This kit sparks a love of chemistry. It includes 51 experiment cards and tools, and an observation notebook to record results. You do have to provide some of the supplies. My kids had so much fun conducting experiments. This is a great way to encourage a love of science.

Games

 

Wildcraft

Wildcraft is a group game where players learn how to identify wild herbs. This is a cooperative game where everyone works together to travel to the top of the mountain to collect Huckleberries for Grandma.

Throughout the game, players run into various first aid crisis, and they learn how to identify 27 different wild plants and how they can be used to treat various medical issues.  This a great game that my children have played again and again.

Here are some more of our favorite STEM games.

DVDs

Here are our favorite shows that spark a love of Science. Animated Hero classics has dvds for a number of different scientists.

 

4. Social Studies

Around the World Stories

We LOVE AWS! This 30-minute audio story series focuses on a new country and culture every four weeks. It combines geography, social studies, history and language arts in an engaging format that sticks with your children.

This has been one of the best resources I have ever purchased for homeschooling. My children ask MULTIPLE times a day to listen to their favorite stories. You can choose from three different packages (Europe, Asia and Artist series).  It also includes a parent guide for additional resources. LOVE!!

 

Give Your Child the World: Raising Globally Minded Kids One Book At A Time

 This book is a must-have resource for every homeschooling family. It is an amazing time saving tool that helps you gather the best children’s literature from around the world. It is full of curated book lists that are based on age range (4-12) and organized by country.

Draw Europe

This is a wonderful (and FUN) step by step tool to not only memorizing but learning how to draw Europe. We used this book over a semester and would draw a couple of countries a day. It has been amazing to see how much my child has become familiar with European geography. This is only one book in an entire series on different countries and continents

Games

DVDS

Travel With Kids

We LOVE this series. In Travel with Kids, you follow a family with two little boys who travel all over the world.  Children are exposed to different cultures all from the comfort of home. My children want to travel the world due to this series.

4. Bible

My First Hands-On Bible

I appreciated this children’s version of the Bible because instead of paraphrasing it actually uses Biblical text.  This was a well-loved Bible for many years.

 

Praying In Color Kids Edition

Have you ever heard, “But I don’t want to pray? I don’t know what to say? I’m embarrassed to pray out loud?” This is a revolutionary resource for children who want another try another way to spend time with God. 

The author Sybil Macbeth gently leads children in understanding what prayer is, common prayer problems, how to pray, and step by step of how to pray using art.  Love it!

DVDS

What’s In the Bible Series

These videos are part of a 13-part series that helps kids big picture look at the Bible as a whole. Phil Vischer (the creator of Veggie Tales) pulls out all the stops as he invites kids to wonder, explore and discover the Bible in a whole new way. It is full of fun characters, interesting questions, great animation, and of course fun music.

 

Nest Bible Animated Classics

We have really enjoyed the Animated Bible Classics. These videos are a great complement to devotional time as they allow children to see Bible stories happen right before their eyes. There are thirty-six different stories and they are geared towards ages kindergarten-third grade.

Picture Books

The Boy And The Ocean

 Oh, my word, hands down, probably my favorite Christian picture book. The illustrations are beautiful, the words are life-changing, and what an amazing book to pull out at bedtime.   The story draws parallels between Gods creation and his vast love for his children.

God’s Great Love for You

 This book is all about Gods overwhelming love for his kids told in such an imaginative way. Written by Rick Warren, the book shows a young girl on different adventures discovering God lavish love. The illustrations are adorable and though the book can be read to girls and boys, the book is specifically geared towards young girls.

Shh… God Is In the Silence

This book is a great introductory book to one of the ways that we hear God’s voice in the silence. In a time where we value filling up every available moment with something, this counter-cultural book reminds us that God was in “a gentle, quiet whisper”.  (1 Kings 19:11-12).

  1. Art-Music

The Amazing Musical Instruments

This book is very comprehensive and is a wonderful foundation for understanding the history and sounds of major instruments.

This resource really breaks down the parts of a classical orchestra into bite-size pieces and allows you to really appreciate the contribution of each instrument.  This is an interactive book that comes with a CD-ROM so you can hear different sounds and songs from different instruments.

Impressionism By Linda Bolton

This is a great behind the scenes look at Impressionism. Each artist has one or two pages full of background info, and samples of their most famous works of art. We would focus on one or two artists a day and then supplement with more hands-on activities. Great resource!

 

Games 

Van Gogh and Friends Art Game

This is a fun memory game that focuses on Post-Impressionists.  We use this as a memory game, although it is designed to be played like Go Fish or Concentration.   It really helps the kids learn the names and works of art of the different artists. It covers Van Gogh, Gauguin, Cezanne, Seurat, Rousseau, and Toulouse-Lautrec.

CDS

Classical Kids Series

This is a phenomenal series!  You get to know different classical composers, through a captivating story set to that composers’ music. This series has helped spark curiosity, and a love of classical music in the hearts of my children.  We listen to this series, again, and again!

 

Beethoven’s Wig

This is a great sing-along series set to classical music. The lyrics are filled with facts about the composers and are hilarious.  My children can now identify classical music because of this amazing series.

Kids Meet Composers

This cd covers twenty different songwriters and their most famous pieces. Each song starts with a dialogue between the narrator and children, where you learn some history and fun facts about the composer. This is an amazing resource if you are studying various composers.

 

Picture Books

 

Anholt’s Artists-Laurence Anholt

This author through fun stories brings to life famous artists throughout history. We have learned so much about art and history from this series. I love this series because the author does an amazing job of sparking curiosity, and a love of art in children.

 

Katie and Ella Bella Series By James Mayhew 

James Mayhew is another great author/illustrator that makes classical art, and ballet accessible for kids. They will never see art as boring after growing up reading his stories about the adventures of Katie and Ella Bella.  The illustrations from the Ella Bella Ballerina series are stunning. An amazing resource for helping children engage in and love art history.

Drawing Books

DVD

 

 What about you? What are your favorite ways to foster a love of learning at home?  If you try any of these resources, let us know! Leave a comment, and don’t forget to follow Most Important Workon Pinterest!

 

 

What Happened When I Got Sick and Tired of Superficial Faith

What Happened When I Got Sick and Tired of Superficial Faith

  

Reading Time: 5 min 38 sec

Do you as you get done with the endless rounds of church services, volunteering shifts, small groups, and food pantry donations, ever stop short and ask yourself, “Is this all there is?”.   

 

Seriously, do you ever feel like a poser always projecting this vibrant relationship with God when frankly you are not even sure you could tell the difference between his voice and the pizza you had for dinner last night?

 

Do you ever feel like all your running around for God leaves you feeling even emptier inside?  Your devotions and all your knowledge of God feel pointless because it never seems to transfer into real life?

 

You feel discouraged, unmotivated, and maybe even a little guilty. This is not what you imagined a living breathing, relationship with God would look like.

 

I was there. I had reached the end of what I could work up for God. My endless doing for God felt exhausting, overwhelming and never enough.   My relationship felt stagnant like someone had pressed pause, and no conference on the earth was going to change that outcome.  

 

I grew more desperate as the dissatisfaction continued to grow. There had to be more to a relationship with God than my current experience of him.

 

So, what do you do when you reach a wall in your relationship with God that you can’t scale, you can bury under, and you can’t knock down?

 

  1. The Desperation

2. The Invitation

3. The Transformed Life

 

 

1. The Desperation

 

I grew up in the church. I was there every time the doors were open. I was involved in various ministries, attended all the classes, and pursued learning as much as I could about God and how to be a good Christian.

 

I went on staff at a local church and served as part of their elementary team and later as their youth pastor. I created and led events that were designed to help students and their families grow deeper in their faith.  I was all about producing more, accomplishing more, and working more all in an effort to prove my worth not only to others but to God.  

 

I would run from conference to event to workshop hunting for an encounter with God all the while burying this deep sense of dissatisfaction and exhaustion. I believed the lie that “good Christians” (especially in ministry) don’t give up, they stick with it. I found myself running from one thing to the next trying to serve my way into encountering God’s love and approval.

 

If you would have asked me I would have told you that without a doubt God’s love for me was not conditional on my performance. And that there was nothing I could do to make God love me any more or any less than he did right now. I  thought I believed it, but I obviously hadn’t experienced God’s transforming love. 

 

Can I tell you that it is exhausting to try and outperform God? Okay, that might be a little over dramatic (:) but it felt like the harder I “ministered for Jesus” the more dissatisfied I became.  My quiet times felt stale and lifeless and I couldn’t figure out where to go from here.

 

2. The Invitation

 

I had grown up hearing stories of men and women of faith. Who not only exemplified the fruits of the spirit (the holy grail of the Christian life) but who even more surprisingly had actual deep relationships with Jesus.

They had actual conversations with God which were captivating because if I were honest, my conversations with Jesus were more me talking and him listening.  They completely surrendered their lives to God, it wasn’t always pretty, and yet shockingly they were at peace.  That’s it, I thought, I want what they have. Little did I know that an invitation was about to be presented to me.

 

I was sitting in a staff meeting when I first heard about several people I respect journeying through a book (Journey with Jesus) that was based on the spiritual exercises of St. Ignatian. I wasn’t familiar with St. Ignatius at the time, and a coming from a conservative evangelical background I was leery of anything with a saint in front of it. 🙂 

 

However, I remember sitting there and hearing the stories of these leaders whose lives, ministries, and intimacy with Jesus were transformed. I knew this was something I had to check out.  

One of the things that I learned about St. Ignatius is that he was a man who strongly desired to help others encounter a deep experience of Jesus. The key for me was the word Experience. I did not need more head knowledge about God, I wanted a relationship with him.  

 

 The process was a little daunting, you commit to nine months of not only meeting with God for an hour a day but also meeting regularly with a Spiritual Friend. After time spent in prayer I felt like this was God’s bold invitation to me.   

 

I am not going to lie. This experience cost me something. I had to rearrange my life so I could participate in this journey. 

 

As a mom, who at the time had several kids under the age five (and a brand-new puppy), finding an hour to meet with God each day was not easy by any stretch of the imagination. I had to be creative when it came to carving out time with Jesus. But it was so necessary for my soul.

 

3. The Surrendered Life

Those nine months (that actually stretched into a year and a half) changed my life. Through daily scripture reading, prayer, silence, and hands-on activities, I encountered the lavish never-ending love of the Father.

 

I discovered that as I experienced God’s love by indentity started to undergo a transformation. God used this tool (for that is all that it is) in my life to allow me to experience the height and depth and breadth of his lavish love.  It was like a breath of fresh air. Finally, I could cease striving to try to prove my worth and rest in my identity as one chosen, adopted and unconditionally loved by my Father in heaven.

 

I learned that the basis of my relationship with God is learning how to be rooted and grounded in love. It is out of my great love relationship with him that I can, in turn, share his love with others.   

 

My whole paradigm shifted, my identity, security, and outlook on life changed drastically. I don’t have to jump from conference to conference trying to figure out the missing key to a deep relationship with God.  My relationship with God has grown significantly. I get to step off the treadmill of performance and  actively participate with the Holy Spirit in my life.

 

 I am, like all of us, on a journey. Every day, I discover something new, and it feels like I am just scratching the surface of a relationship with Jesus.  Life is still challenging but you get to rest in the peace that you are unconditionally loved by God. This changes EVERYTHING!

 

You get to embrace of life of freedom instead of constantly worrying about how you measure up.  You get to live everyday in anticipation for you know there is SO MUCH MORE to a relationship with Jesus.

 

So, my friends, are ready to experience God on a deeper level? Here are some ways that you can get started in actually EXPERIENCING the love of the Father.

 

Everyone’s journey to a deeper life with God is different. If you feel drawn to the Ignatian Exercises you can check out this book Journey with Jesus by Larry Warner. I love it because it is written in a very accessible and experiential way. You actually get to participate in activities that help create space for the Holy Spirit to speak to you. Did I make it clear that I LOVE  it? 🙂

 

If that seems like a bit much, to take on right now, I would suggest reading Surrender to Love by David Benner. It is a short but powerful book (its worth it even if you hate reading) that has played a huge part in my walk with Jesus.  

 

I pray that you will experience the height, depth, and breadth of God’s lavish love for you.

You will never be the same. 

                            

 

If you want to know how to get started in living a deep life with God; grab our Deeper Life Beginners Guide(below). And join our community of moms who are hungry for more Jesus in their lives and in the lives of their families. 

What about you? What is God’s invitation to you?   Leave a comment, and don’t forget to follow Most Important Work on Pinterest!   

 

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How To Pray When It Feels Like God Isn’t Listening

How To Pray When It Feels Like God Isn’t Listening

  

Reading Time: 5 min 46 sec

Have you ever wondered if God is off taking a vacation when you pray? Okay, maybe not a vacation, but it seems like every time you call out to him, you are met with deafening silence. You secretly wonder if you are doing something wrong.  All your friends, your pastor, people at church are always mentioning, God said this…or I hear God today.. and you are like, “WAIT, did I miss the memo? Did God show up today and I didn’t hear about it?”  

 

The fact that you must be defective, or a really immature Christian, festers in the back of your brain, you feel embarrassed, and you try to mask the fact that apparently you and God aren’t on speaking terms. You push your prayer frustrations to the side until one day you are confronted with pain.

 

Whether the death of a loved one, frustration at work, a rebellious teen, violence in the world, something stirs your heart, and you cry out to God, “God, where are you? I am in agony. I am confused. I am frustrated. You say you love me, but where are you when I need you? All I get is silence. Am I doing something wrong? Do you not love me? Where are you? I need you now.”

 

If that’s you, keep reading…

  1. Playing Hide and Seek with God 

2. The Invitation 

3. Practice Showing Up 

 

 

1. Playing Hide and Seek With God 

 

 So where is God? Seriously, it can seem like every time we desperately need to hear from him, he is off saving the world. What about us? Where is he, when we call out in our pain?  Does he even care?       Psalm 139:1-12 gives us explicit directions as to where God is hanging out.

 

It says, “God, investigate my life; get all the facts firsthand. I’m an open book to you; even from a distance, you know what I’m thinking. You know when I leave and when I get back; I’m never out of your sight. You know everything I’m going to say before I start the first sentence. I look behind me and you’re there, then up ahead and you’re there, too—your reassuring presence, coming and going.

This is too much, too wonderful. I can’t take it all in!  Is there any place I can go to avoid your Spirit? To be out of your sight?

 If I climb to the sky, you’re there!  If I go underground, you’re there! If I flew on morning’s wings to the far western horizon,You’d find me in a minute—you’re already there waiting!

Then I said to myself, “Oh, he even sees me in the dark! At night I’m immersed in the light!” It’s a fact: darkness isn’t dark to you; night and day, darkness and light, they’re all the same to you.”

 

Is there a word or phrase that jumps out at you in this passage?  

 

Do you notice that it says, he knows what we are thinking?  Not just what we are doing, but our very thoughts and that there is no place we can go to avoid his Spirit.

 

King David, the author of this Psalm, was known for having a deep, intimate relationship with God, and out of that intimacy, he shares his experience of God with us.  Now before you think that this is just a picture of David’s relationship with God, David wrote this psalm for the choir director. Meaning this song was written to be sung by people of Israel, proclaiming Gods praises, attesting of Gods’ faithfulness to us.

 

 We read this passage and tell ourselves, yes, of course, God is with me.  Any person who has been a Christian for longer than five minutes knows that God never leaves us or forsakes us.

 

 We know this truth mentally but it sure doesn’t feel like he is present.  So, if we can’t outrun, out hide, or out fly, the love of God than why can’t I hear his voice?

 

 

2. The Invitation

 

I was having a conversation with an acquaintance, and halfway through, I noticed that her eyes kept drifting, and she was looking very distracted.  All throughout our conversation, she kept smiling and nodding to the people around me. Needless to say, it was a very distracting conversation for both of us.

 

We can fall into this same trap in our conversations with God.  We are either so desperate for an answer that we spend the entire time shouting our requests to God. Or we say a five-second prayer, wait for a moment or two, and then rail at him when he doesn’t show up in a miraculous way.

 

Anthony Bloom, a spiritual writer says it this way, “We complain that God does not make himself present to us for the few minutes we reserve for him, but what about the twenty-three and a half hours during which God may be knocking at our door and we answer, “I am busy. I am sorry.” Or when we do not answer at all because we do not even hear the knock at the door of our heart, of our mind, of our conscience, of our life.”

 

 God loves spending time with you.  He is not hiding or playing games with you. He genuinely loves to hear your voice. And he is presenting you with a Grand Invitation. He is inviting you to go deeper into a love relationship with him. He is asking, “I am inviting you to spend time with me?”

 

He is asking you to invite him into your entire day, not just the twenty minutes you spend reading the Bible each morning.

 

 So how can we practically be present with God all throughout the day? How can we give him more than a distracted conversation in a time of crisis? 

 

3. Practice Showing Up 

 

 Do you ever feel like you are wasting your time when you sit down to have devotions and nothing seems to happen? That there are so many other responsibilities clamoring for your attention, taking twenty minutes out of your day can seem well, a lavish extravagance.  

 

You go through the motions of reading a Bible passage or filling in the answers in a devotional, and at times it can just seem…well boring. (GASP!) Yes, I did say boring, because frankly, devotions can be boring.

 

I got bored. I wanted something more than filling my head with facts about God (though it is an important part of our faith), I wanted to actually have a living, breathing experience of God. I wanted what Daniel, David, Esther, Mary, and countless others had with Jesus. I wanted to have a real relationship with him. 

 

To have a deep relationship with him, we must be active participants in our conversations with God. Setting aside distractions (or at least keeping them at bay), and engaging in talking and listening to God. And here is the key part…even when it feels like nothing is happening.   

 

It seriously is about the practice of showing up, day after day and laying down our agenda for his.  Asking God that he would spark a deeper desire for more of him in our hearts.

 

Here are some suggestions of practical things that you can use throughout your day as a reminder to be present to Jesus.

 

1. Light or use a battery powered candle to remind you that God is with you and in you.

 

2. Place a small cross in your pocket. Every time you touch it serves as a reminder to turn your focus back to Jesus.

 

3. Set reminders on your phone. You can label them with messages, like “You are a beloved child of God.” “How is your day going? Love, God” “I am with you today- Love, God”

 

4. Hang a meaningful symbol from your rearview mirror. Every time you get in the car, let it serve as a reminder to pray.

 

5. Put a picture of Jesus holding a lamb, or with children on the background d of your phone or computer. Let it serve as a reminder that you are a child beloved by God.

 

 

Do you want to learn how to live WITH God? Do you want to experience a deep relationship with Jesus not just find out more facts about him?  Check out Liturgy of the Ordinary by Tish Harrison Warren. This book was pivotal in my own journey, in learning how to be present to God all throughout my day. I LOVE it!

 


What about you? What is your #1 issue when it comes to living life with God?   Leave a comment, and don’t forget to follow Most Important Work on Pinterest!    

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