How To Avoid Feeling Like An Inadequate Christian

How To Avoid Feeling Like An Inadequate Christian

  

Reading Time: 5 min 15 sec

The last couple of weeks I hit a major writing block. I would stare at a blank computer screen, for what felt like decades, with just fragments of thoughts. I knew the topic I wanted to explore but every time I went to set pen to paper (or fingers to keys as the case may be) my mind would go completely blank.

 

It was disorienting. I had deadlines to meet, to-dos to cross off and here I was with zip, nada, nothing. As time went on, panic set in, and fear crept up the back of my throat.  Doubts started to plague me.  “Who do you think you are?” it yelled, “You aren’t qualified to write about this topic”.

 

As deadlines came and passed, a cloud of discouragement and fear came with it, whispering in my ear, “You obviously don’t know anything. Sit down and let the professionals handle it.”   

 

Have you experienced the paralyzing fear of inadequacy? Have you worried that if your friends, family, and coworkers really knew you, you would be seen as a failure, a big disappointment, and a fraud?

 

So, what do we do when fear of failure rears its ugly head?  

 

  1. The Imposter

2. Who Am I? 

3. Daily Surrender

 

 

1. The Imposter

 

The Imposter mentality is all around us, we see people filling their lives in a flurry of activity, maintaining superficial relationships, shouting their achievements, all desperately trying to keep the overwhelming sense of emptiness and failure at bay.

 

This crippling fear that we are not enough can paralyze us. We can end up leading lives of stress, pushing ourselves to higher and higher levels of achievement all in the desperate search to find validation. To get some relief from the doubts and fears that harass our thoughts.

 

We can also see this mentality popping up in our relationship with God. We work so hard to do, say, and be all the right things, only to worry that we might be a modern-day Pharisee.

 

Do you ever feel exposed before God?  Do you wonder if he is sitting in heaven passing judgment over our many failures?   If we are honest, we can quickly fall into the trap of feeling like our relationship with God is like a soul-sucking list of “should’s”. 

 

  • I should know the correct way to pray.
  • I should know how to hear from God.
  • I should know more about God.
  • My prayers should sound more spiritual.

 

The list goes on and on.  And so we begin to run on the wheel of performance, trying to prove our worth to God, to others, and trying to fill that hole in our hearts; with a book list, a workshop, a podcast, or a conference. 

 

This exhausting cycle can keep us from embracing all that God has for us. It can keep us from living a life of freedom.

 

 

2. Who Am I? 

 

So, what do we do when we feel the need to find our validation in anything other than God?

 

We need to know who we are.

 

1 John 3:1 says, “What marvelous love the Father has extended to us! Just look at it—we’re called children of God! That’s who we really are. But that’s also why the world doesn’t recognize us or take us seriously, because it has no idea who he is or what he’s up to.”

 

We are called children of God.  God chose us. He knows all of our sin, all of our mistakes, all of our frailties, and yet even then he extended his love to us.  The God of the Universe calls us by name, and showers love upon us.  He knows our innermost thoughts, and yet he still chooses to shower lavish love upon us.

 

Romans 8:32-35 unpacks it with these words, “If God didn’t hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn’t gladly and freely do for us?  

And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God’s chosen? Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us—who was raised to life for us!—is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ’s love for us? There is no way!”

 

There is nothing and no one that can separate us from the love of God.  We don’t have to work for, manipulate, or portray something that we are not in order to gain his acceptance or approval.  

 

He loves us just as we are, no performance necessary.

 

3. Daily Surrender

So how do we live out of our true identity as beloved children of God?  It needs to become a part of our core DNA.  

1. The Imposter

 

The Imposter mentality is all around us, we see people filling their lives in a flurry of activity, maintaining superficial relationships, shouting their achievements, all desperately trying to keep the overwhelming sense of emptiness and failure at bay.

 

This crippling fear that we are not enough can paralyze us. We can end up leading lives of stress, pushing ourselves to higher and higher levels of achievement all in the desperate search to find validation. To get some relief from the doubts and fears that harass our thoughts.

 

We can also see this mentality popping up in our relationship with God. We work so hard to do, say, and be all the right things, only to worry that we might be a modern-day Pharisee.

 

Do you ever feel exposed before God?  Do you wonder if he is sitting in heaven passing judgment over our many failures?   If we are honest, we can quickly fall into the trap of feeling like our relationship with God is like a soul-sucking list of “should’s”. 

 

  • I should know the correct way to pray.
  • I should know how to hear from God.
  • I should know more about God.
  • My prayers should sound more spiritual.

 

The list goes on and on.  And so we begin to run on the wheel of performance, trying to prove our worth to God, to others, and trying to fill that hole in our hearts; with a book list, a workshop, a podcast, or a conference. 

 

This exhausting cycle can keep us from embracing all that God has for us. It can keep us from living a life of freedom.

 

 

2. Who Am I? 

 

So, what do we do when we feel the need to find our validation in anything other than God?

 

We need to know who we are.

 

1 John 3:1 says, “What marvelous love the Father has extended to us! Just look at it—we’re called children of God! That’s who we really are. But that’s also why the world doesn’t recognize us or take us seriously, because it has no idea who he is or what he’s up to.”

 

We are called children of God.  God chose us. He knows all of our sin, all of our mistakes, all of our frailties, and yet even then he extended his love to us.  The God of the Universe calls us by name, and showers love upon us.  He knows our innermost thoughts, and yet he still chooses to shower lavish love upon us.

 

Romans 8:32-35 unpacks it with these words, “If God didn’t hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn’t gladly and freely do for us?  

And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God’s chosen? Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us—who was raised to life for us!—is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ’s love for us? There is no way!”

 

There is nothing and no one that can separate us from the love of God.  We don’t have to work for, manipulate, or portray something that we are not in order to gain his acceptance or approval.  

 

He loves us just as we are, no performance necessary.

 

3. Daily Surrender

So how do we live out of our true identity as beloved children of God?  It needs to become a part of our core DNA.  

“In order for our knowing of God’s love to be truly transformational, it must become the basis of our identity…An identity grounded in God would mean that when we think of who we are, the first thing that would come to mind is our status as someone who is deeply loved by God.”-David Benner

 

Instead of identifying ourselves in what we do, we need to see ourselves for who we are in Jesus. This also means that we have to daily (sometimes hourly) surrender ourselves to God.

 

Every morning I ask God to help me place my value, not in my roles (wife, mother, etc.), or in what I accomplish (or don’t) throughout the day, but as his beloved child. I pray that I would come to experience at deeper and deeper levels that there is nothing I need to do to gain his love or approval.  

 

This takes transparency and humility. We want to always be doing for God.  It can be scary, messy and countercultural to accept and rest in his extravagant love. And I sometimes fail miserably.  I get moving too fast and fall back into the lie that my worth, my very identity is tied up in what I produce.

 

“Genuine transformation requires vulnerability. It is not the fact of being loved unconditionally that is life-changing. IT is the risky experience of allowing myself to be loved unconditionally.”-David Benner

 

In our independent culture, receiving an extravagant gift when we didn’t earn it can be uncomfortable. God has done so much for us, we just want to do our part to pay him back. 

When you learn what it means to just be with God instead of working for God, to experience (not just know about) his lavish love… it’s transformational.

 

When fear and self-doubt threaten to take over, remember God chose you. You are the beloved of the king of all kings.  You don’t need to perform to earn his love.  When you daily surrender your feelings of inadequacy to God, and you walk through life resting in the security that you are enough, just as you are, fear loses its grip. You have nothing to prove.

 

Today is the day.  Lay down fear, the rat race of performance and embrace God’s overwhelming, never stopping, beyond comprehension love.. for you. I promise you your life will never be the same.  

 

 

Do you want to learn how to live out of your true identity as one chosen by God? Check out David Benner’s Surrender to Love. This book was transformational in my own journey to laying down fear and living freely and lightly as a beloved child of God.


 What about you? What is your #1 issue when it comes to living life with God?   Leave a comment, and don’t forget to follow Most Important Work on Pinterest!    

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5 Ways to Recognize the Voice of God When You Are Desperate

5 Ways to Recognize the Voice of God When You Are Desperate

  

Reading Time: 5 min 8 sec

Are you desperate to hear God’s voice? Do you have an issue that you desperately need wisdom on how to solve? Do you hunger to hear God’s voice for yourself?

You are not alone. We all struggle (even the great men and women of faith) with hearing God’s voice at different points in our relationship with him.

 

So, what’s going on? Is God playing some sort of game? Is he trying to make it difficult to have a conversation with him?  You ask, “If he truly loved me why can’t I hear his voice clearly?”

 

One of the reasons we might have a hard time hearing Gods voice is that we barely slow down long enough to hear our own voice. We have a problem and we want ANSWERS yesterday! We rush around bemoaning the fact that we can’t hear from God when we haven’t allowed him to get a word in edgewise. 

 

We are so busy moving, talking with others, and talking at God that no wonder we can’t hear his voice. We want a thunderbolt from heaven when he is talking in a still small whisper.  I love this reminder to slow down and be present with the one, who is ever present with us.

 

1 Kings 19:11-13, “And he said, “Go out and stand on the mount before the Lord.” And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a low whisper. And when Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. And behold, there came a voice to him and said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

 

We are in a relationship with a God who is always talking. He loves us. Period. When you love someone with a never giving up, beyond comprehension love, you don’t hide from them, but delight in spending time with them.

 

 Jesus said it this way in John 15:15, “I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.”

 

So how do we hear from God?

 

We need to practice recognizing his voice. God lives life with us. He is always talking to us. And he is endlessly creative. God can and is speaking to us in a PLETHORA of ways we just need to become aware of his voice.  

Here are five basic ways to recognize his voice. They are to serve as guideposts to help you practice noticing God voice in your everyday life. This is just a starting place, as you come to know God in deeper ways, you will see that he is literally talking to you ALL the TIME and in a multitude of ways.    It’s awesome because you go about your ordinary life having an ongoing internal dialogue with God about EVERYTHING!

 

By taking the time to practice you are taking an active role in participating with the work of the Holy Spirit in your life.

 

Here are 5 basic ways to recognize his voice: 

  1. In the Quiet

2. Godly Council 

3. Intersecting Thoughts

4. The Word of God 

5. In Dreams

 

 

1. In the Quiet

 

I have found that in our fast-paced culture that the very act of carving out space to meet with God can feel like an uphill battle. We are a culture that focuses purely on doing, not the being.  

 

 Jesus modeled how we should come before God in Mark 1:35 “Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.” And in Luke 5:16, “Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.”.

 

Make it priority to spend time with Jesus in quiet. Just be with him in silence for 5-10 minutes (it’s more challenging than you think).  And then let him know what’s on your mind. You have to make spending time with Jesus a priority or it will never happen. 

 

2. Godly Council 

 We always want to jump to getting Godly council but I would encourage you to spend time with God on your own FIRST before you talk with others.  You will be more in tune with listening to the Holy Spirit and will be able to weigh the advice of others.  It’s a given but always make sure that any advice you receive lines up with Scripture.  I would also seek people that you know are pursuing a deep relationship with God.

 

3. Intersecting Thoughts

 

Have you ever been thinking along one path and all of a sudden you are shocked with some thought you know wasn’t from you (typically because it is super Godly :))?  I have had multiple situations over my life where I will be thinking about work, my children, or what to fix for dinner and all of a sudden, I will randomly have someone’s name come to mind.  I know that I wasn’t thinking about that person AT ALL, but I realize that God was trying to get my attention for a reason, and I immediately stop and pray for that person.  I have a number of times where I have had a chance to talk with that person later only to find out that they were going through a crisis at the very moment I was led to pray.  

 

*Always make sure that any intersecting thoughts line up with scripture.

  1. The Word of God

 The number one way you can hear from God is spending time in his word.  I love what Hebrews 4:12 says, “For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.”

Do whatever it takes to sit with scripture, turning it over in your heart, and allowing it, by the power of the Holy Spirit to transform you

5. Dreams

 

Yes, God can speak to you through dreams. Sometimes, I think that is the only time we are still enough that he can get our attention. 🙂   I love how God spoke to many people through dreams throughout the Bible. I have had a number of people close to me hear God through dreams.

 

If you have a dream that you think might be from God, I would first, write it down. Second, make sure it lines up with scripture. Third, I would spend a period of time just praying about it. Fourth, I would ask God if this is something for right now or something for the future.   I have had a couple of close friends experience dreams where God didn’t reveal the interpretation until fifteen years later. 

 

Remember, this is just the starting point. God can speak through worship, nature, art, angelic appearances, books, physical activity, music etc. As you grow deeper in your relationship with God you will come to hear in his still soft voice in a multitude of ways. This is just just the beginning!  

 

If you want to know how to get started in living a deeper life with God; grab your free Deeper Life Beginners Guide (get it below). And join our community of moms who are hungry for more of Jesus in their lives and in the lives of their families. 


What about you? What is your #1 issue when it comes to hearing God’s voice? Feel free to leave me a comment and don’t forget to follow Most Important Work on Pinterest!

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How to Have a Conversation with God

How to Have a Conversation with God

  

Reading Time: 5 min 45 sec

Have you ever felt frustrated trying to figure out how to have a conversation with God?  We know that talking to him is not staring at the ceiling conducting a one-person monologue while God patiently listens, but we are not quite sure how to move past it.

 

Let’s think about this for a second, what if you had a relationship where you only talked with that person when you needed something?

 

You wouldn’t learn the sound of their voice, their humor, their interests, their joy, and their pain. You wouldn’t have a friendship but an acquaintance. There would be no hope of moving past the basic levels of friendship because you have a need-based transactional relationship.

 

I don’t know about you but I want to know the sound of Gods voice, I want to have inside jokes, I want to sit in his presence, I want his voice to be the one I listen for when I wake up, and the last one I talk to before I go to sleep.  I want to have the deepest soul friendship I can possibly have with God.  C.S. Lewis, St. Ignatius, King David, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Billy Graham, Mother Theresa, and countless other unknown people have experienced this type of relationship. 

 

We know we serve a talking God. There are numerous examples in the Bible, starting with Adam and continuing on to the present day. He is always communicating with us. Our role in the conversation is to not only talk, but to practice active listening.

 

Here are four questions that we need to ask ourselves in order to move past a transactional conversation and into a deep soul friendship with Jesus.

 

  1. Are you Ready to Hear from God? 

2. Are you Practicing Listening to God?

3. Are you Spending Time with God? 

4. Are You Pursuing a Soul Friendship with God?

 

 

1. Are you Ready to Hear from God? 

 

There are literally thousands of articles, books, and conferences centered around hearing God’s voice, but have you ever wondered what he will say when you do hear him?  What he will ask of you?    

I love the story of the rich young ruler in Matthew 19:16-22. He comes to Jesus expecting one thing (to be praised for his good deeds), and instead, he gets thrown a curve ball, with the challenge to reorder his life to follow God.

 

 I think a lot of us dream that God will speak to us in the same way he visited Mary or Paul in the New Testament. We want booming voices, angelic appearances, and impressive callings. 

 

                We want to have the distinction among our peers of someone who

                                   hears directly from the Almighty God.  

 

When God calls someone into foreign missions, or ministry we can’t ignore that there is a romantic prestige to the call. Everyone around them knows that they have been called to a life of sacrifice and service. They are applauded, sometimes misunderstood, and generally acknowledged as a Godly, selfless creature.

 

But what about when God calls us to not gossip about our enemies, to load and unload the dishwasher without complaining for 92nd time today, to clean up dog poop, and to encourage our spouse after a long day?  That calling is not remotely romantic, there is no choir singing our praises, and no prestige for being super Godly, it just sounds like a lot of hard work done without an audience. 

 

We need to ask ourselves, are we desperate for a deep love relationship with God?  Or are we trying to find our acceptance and validation in our perceived Godliness?

 

A soul friendship with God is developed not in front of a crowd, but in the daily, mundane moments of our lives. As we invite him more and more into our day, we encounter the lavish love and character of God, and our lives are transformed.

 

2. Are you Practicing Listening to God? 

 

Imagine you get the opportunity to have lunch with Mother Theresa or Billy Graham and you spend the entire time talking incessantly about your thoughts, feelings, and problems, barely coming up for air.  It sounds like crazy behavior because it is crazy behavior!     

 

When you sit down with one of your role models you want to learn and glean everything you can in that precious time.  You ask questions and share your story but you don’t spend the time monopolizing the conversation.

 

Dallas Willard, says it this way, “People are meant to live in an ongoing conversation with God, speaking and being spoken to.” 

 

When you engage in a conversation with God, imagine you are verbally tossing a ball back and forth. Talking is important but you must also practice listening. Unlike talking, listening takes time and effort. The practice of spending time in silence and solitude has really helped me develop my listening skills.

 

A practical suggestion would be to start off by setting a timer for two minutes and just be quiet, focusing on the Father.  You can slowly increase your time with God as the Holy Spirit leads you.  To be real, I have to say that I have found this practice to be challenging, but so CRUCIAL to developing a deep relationship with God.

 

3. Are you Spending Time with God? 

 

We can get a little obsessed with trying to hear Gods voice that we forget that listening to someone is only a part of a relationship with them.  Think about those people in your life where you don’t have to keep the conversation going in order to avoid the awkward PAUSE?  You can just sit and be… No performance, no effort, content just to be in each other’s presence. It sounds so life-giving, right?

 

Unlike our spouse or best friend, God is literally with us all the time.  You come to know him through a balance of talking, listening and EXPERIENCING life together.

 

“Hearing God cannot be a reliable and intelligible fact of life except when we see his speaking as one aspect of his presence with us, of his life in us. Only our communion with God provides the appropriate context for communications between us and him.” ― Dallas Willard

 

Over time, your experience with God, not just your conversation will serve as a framework for recognizing his voice in your life.  When was the last time you stopped and just spent time with God?  No requests. No conversation.  Just enjoying each other’s presence?

A practical suggestion would be to invite him into your favorite activity or hobby. Say something like, “God I invite you into this time. I want to enjoy your presence and just hang out with you as I participate in this hobby/activity.” Then just be aware of his presence with you as engage in the activity. You bring God joy just by showing up and carving time out of your day for him.  

4. Are you Pursuing a Soul Friendship with God? 

It is impossible to form a deep relationship if the extent of your interaction is a quick text message every couple of months.  You have to invest time, energy and effort in order for the new relationship to grow.  This means that instead of using God as a crisis manager you come to him as a best friend, learning to delight in spending time together.

 

“It is much more important to cultivate the quiet, inward space of a constant listening than to always be approaching God for specific direction.”-Dallas Willard

 

 In order for your relationship with God to grow, you need to take an active role in feeding, watering, and spending time in an environment that will help it grow.  Practically, this looks like spending time with God consistently, practicing talking and listening, inviting God into your day, spending time in community with fellow believers, and reordering your life around him.

 

Let’s be honest, as a mom we can live at the mercy of good intentions.  But good intentions don’t build a deep life-giving relationship with Jesus.  I’m sorry but I am not going to wait twenty years until my kids are out of the house to go deep in my relationship with God… I need him now! The foundation of learning to have an ongoing conversation with God is in the little choices you make every single day. I promise you it’s worth it!

 

Are you hungry and ready to experience a deeper life with God? Join our community of moms who are hungry for more Jesus in their lives and in the lives of their families.  

Grab your free Deeper Life Beginners Guide (get it below) to help YOU get started on your journey to a thicker life with Jesus today!

 


What about you? What is your #1 issue when it comes to having a conversation with God? feel free to leave me a comment and don’t forget to follow Most Important Work on Pinterest!

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How to Work with Jesus in the Transforming of Your Soul

How to Work with Jesus in the Transforming of Your Soul

  

Reading Time: 3 min 49 sec

 

Do you ever wonder how you can work with Jesus in the transforming of your soul? Are you hungry and desperate for God? Are you doing the foundational stuff (see this blog post) but just can’t seem to figure out how to go deeper?  Let’s dive into how we can work with God in becoming more like Jesus.

 

“A disciple is a person who has decided that the most important thing in life is to learn how to do what Jesus said to do.”  Dallas Willard

 

Have you ever reacted in such a way, whether it be an argument, an emergency, or after a long day, that made you cringe? Where after seeking forgiveness, (for the thousandth time), you throw up your hands, and wonder how on earth you are ever going to cultivate patience, kindness, service and actually, utilize it in the heat of the moment no less?  How do you develop life as a disciple of Jesus; someone who actually demonstrates in word and action a life lived in surrender to God?

 

Galatians 5:22-23 gives us a vision for what the surrendered life looks like: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.”

 

So how do we develop the fruits of the spirit in our own lives?  How do we never give up, care more for others than ourselves, develop humility, patience, honesty, trust, etc.?  How do we intentionally be present with Jesus in our everyday lives?

 

Today, we are going to be answering that question by diving into some practical tools that Christians have been using for centuries. 

 

  1. The Purpose of Spiritual Disciplines

2. What are Spiritual Disciplines?  

3. How do I Apply Disciplines in my life? 

 

 

1. What is the Purpose of Spiritual Disciplines? 

 

The purpose of Spiritual Disciplines is to provide practical tools that allow us to work with God in the transformation of our souls.   The Life with God Bible says it this way, “Spiritual Disciplines involve doing what we can to receive from God the power to do what we cannot. And God graciously used this process to make us the kind of person who automatically will do what needs to be done when it needs to be done.”

 

Bingo!

 

Practicing Spiritual Disciplines are a crucial part of developing a deep and transformed life. The tools in and of themselves are nothing special, they are just that… tools. But they give us a super helpful and practical framework to work with the Holy Spirit.  Spiritual Disciplines allow us, through God’s grace, love, and the power of the Holy Spirit, to take an active role in saying yes to work of the Holy Spirit in our lives.

 

 “A farmer is helpless to grow grain; all he can do is provide the right conditions for the growing of grain. He cultivates the ground, he plants the seed, he waters the plants, and then the natural forces of the earth take over and up comes the grain…This is the way it is with the Spiritual Disciplines – they are a way of sowing to the Spirit… By themselves the Spiritual Disciplines can do nothing; they can only get us to the place where something can be done.” -Richard Foster

 

The disciplines are not meant to be a rigid rule of life but as a grace-filled, Holy Spirit initiated practice that grows and changes throughout the season of your life.  

 

 2. What are Spiritual Disciplines? 

 

So, what exactly are spiritual disciplines? Here is a list of inward, outward and corporate disciplines taken from Richard Foster’s book, Celebration of Discipline.   

 

Inward Disciplines:

Prayer–with God not just at God

Fasting

Meditation

Study– Not just for information, but the transformation of your soul

Outward Disciplines:

Simplicity

Solitude

Submission

Service

 

Corporate Disciplines:

Confession

Worship

Guidance

3. How to Apply Spiritual Disciplines in Your Life? 

 

We need to understand that participating in spiritual disciplines is a life long journey. It is not about instant transformation, but about learning to be present every day with God, in the ongoing transformation of our souls.  It is not meant to be one more thing to do, but as a willing response born out of our love relationship with him.  

 

“God has given us the Disciplines of the spiritual life as a means of receiving his grace. The Disciplines allow us to place ourselves before God so that he can transform us.”Richard Foster

 

So how do you actually choose what discipline to practice in your life?

Here are some Suggestions for Getting Started:

  1. Ask yourself, what are you drawn to? What would practicing that discipline look like?
  2. Pray and ask God about what discipline to practice
  3. Start with one discipline at a time
  4. Operate out of grace. God loves you unconditionally and you don’t have to earn his love.
  5. You must be intentional. And it can (and will) be challenging.
  6. You are Not Alone!  The ever-present God is with you.
  7. The practice will look different for everyone.
  8. The disciplines will change as you enter new seasons of life

 

Are you hungry and ready to experience a deeper life with God? Join our community of moms who are hungry for more Jesus in their lives and in the lives of their families.  

Grab your free Deeper Life Beginners Guide (get it below) to help YOU get started on your journey to a thicker life with Jesus today!  

 

What about you? What is your biggest challenge when it comes to practicing spiritual disciplines?  Please feel free to leave me a comment and don’t forget to follow Most Important Work on Pinterest!

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How to Have A Deep Life Changing Relationship With God

How to Have A Deep Life Changing Relationship With God

  

Reading Time: 4 min 44 sec

Have you ever felt frustrated at the lack of depth in your relationship with God? Have you ever wondered if this is all there is?  Have you read the stories of people like Bonhoeffer, Lewis, and Mother Theresa and wondered how did they get there?

 

We read our Bibles, we pray, we journal, we attend church, small groups and prayer meetings. We run from workshop, to retreat, to conferences hoping for something (a blinding light and a voice from heaven would work) transformative that would allow us to have a depth of relationship with God instantaneously.  Why? Because we know we were created for a deep relationship with Jesus. We just have no idea how to build it.  

 

Have you ever met those people who glow? Who through one conversation you can almost see the love of Jesus just pouring off them? I have met and read about a couple of those people throughout the years and I yearned for what they had. How did they get to where they are? 

 

Here is what I found out, after many conversations and studying great men and women of faith, a deep life-changing relationship with God:

1. A Relationship With God: Is an Investment

2.  A Relationship With God: Is a Priority

3. A Relationship With God: Is a Journey

4. A Relatioship With God: Is Life Changing

 

 

1. It’s an Investment 

 

Your relationship with God is an investment both in time and energy. We sometimes tend to think that if we spend ten minutes here or there we are suddenly going to have this super deep relationship with Jesus. 

Brian Regan, in his famous sketch, demonstrates this concept: “You can microwave a Pop Tart. That just blew me away that you could microwave a Pop Tart. How long does it take to toast a Pop-Tart? A minute and a half if you want it dark? People don’t have that kind of time? Listen, if you need to zap-fry your Pop Tarts before you head out the door, you might want to loosen up your schedule.”

 

 We are trying to zap fry our relationship with God before heading out the door, and let me be honest, it just doesn’t work that way, in any relationship, human or divine.

 

If you want a deeply intimate, life-changing relationship with God you are going to have to invest time in the relationship. You need to know the sound of His voice, experience His overwhelming love for you, and discover how to find your identity rooted and grounded in God. To find out more check out this article How To Pray When You Are Out Of Words.

 

2. It’s a Priority

 

The relationship of Billy Graham, Susanna Wesley, Corrie Ten Boom, among others, didn’t just appear overnight, they made their relationship with God their number one priority. They still had jobs, families, and commitments, but they invested their time wisely and poured into their relationship with Jesus.

 

I have a 3×5 card on my bathroom mirror that serves as a daily reminder of my priorities. My time with God trumps everything else, my relationship with my spouse, kids, personal goals or to do’s. When I can start to get wrapped up in other things I just mentally think of my card, and I make sure that whatever else gets done, I spend time with Jesus. 

 

Dallas Willard, author of Hearing God: Developing a Conversational Relationship with God captures the need with this quote,

 

“Few people arise in the morning as hungry for God as they are

                                for cornflakes or toast and eggs.”

 

Like anything worth doing, you are going to have to say no to some things so you can yes to a deeper relationship with Jesus.   That might look like getting up earlier, or spending your lunch break or kids nap time with Jesus.

 

The sacrifices are worth it because you get to experience a life-altering relationship with God. Let us become people who wake up hungry for God.

 

 3. It’s about the Journey

Investing in a relationship with God takes patience and the understanding that you are on a journey. Even on the days when you feel like you are taking one step forward and two steps back you need to step back and remind yourself that its not about your speed, it’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey. 

 

We can get so focused on getting to heaven that we lose sight of the fact that we are on a voyage with Jesus. We were not designed to grit our teeth and hold out for heaven, but to fully embrace what God has for us today, a love relationship with Jesus. 

God is using literally everything in your life, the joy, the pain, and the mundane to draw you to himself.  As you walk through everything that life throws at you, you have a choice, will you surrender and allow God to do his good work in you; or will you resist and stubbornly try to go your own way? Our time on earth is our metamorphosis, a time where we learn how to turn from our selfish desires, surrender our will and say yes to Jesus.  The relationship, the transformation, the journey makes the end result (heaven) so much richer.  

Surrender is the key to the journey. 

 

4. It’s Life Changing

The time, energy, and sacrifices pale in significance to encountering a deep relationship with God. It’s like a whole new world opens up to you, and you are shouting (at least I was) “where has this been my whole life?”

C.S. Lewis in his book, Mere Christianity says it this way, “Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not 

surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of – throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.”

 

As you grow closer and deeper in your relationship with God, you begin to experience, not just know, the love of the Father, and your life is truly transformed.

 

Paul writing to the Ephesians says,“And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, you’ll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ’s love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God.”Eph. 3: 17-19

 

When you invest, make God your priority and understand that you are on a life-long journey you come to discover and experience the breadths, lengths, depths, and heights, to God’s love. Your life will never be the same.

 

Are you hungry and ready to experience a deeper life with God? Join our community of moms who are hungry for more Jesus in their lives and in the lives of their families.  

Grab your free Deeper Life Beginners Guide (get it below) to help YOU get started on your journey to a thicker life with Jesus today!  

Please feel free to leave me a comment and don’t forget to follow Most Important Work on Pinterest!

How To Crush Your New Year’s Resolutions With These 12 books

How To Crush Your New Year’s Resolutions With These 12 books

Do you want to go deeper, in your relationship with God, in your marriage, do you want to turn your finances around, find freedom in a clutter-free house, and raise your children to love God in 2024?  Are you hungry for more? More of God’s presence, more of His wisdom, more of His love?

 

Antoine de Saint-Exupery said, “A goal without a plan is just a wish”.  As much as we laugh at New Year’s resolutions, the basic idea of setting goals is powerful. 

I have compiled a list of twelve books to help give you actionable steps to achieve your dreams in 2024. 

 

Readers are Leaders. No matter what job you hold you are serving as a leader in some capacity.  It is imperative that you continue to learn and grow as you mature. 

 

“You are the books you read, the movies you watch, the music you listen to, the people you spend time with, the conversations you engage in. Choose wisely what you feed your mind.” -Unknown

 

I have compiled a list of some of the best books ranging from topics on organization, finance, parenting, leadership, biographies, marriage, discernment, and how to experience a deeper love relationship with Jesus.  There are twelve books- one for every month of the year. Some of these books are quick reads, and some you will need to savor as you allow the Holy Spirit to work in your heart.

 

I would encourage you to look over the list and start with the books that you are most drawn to, you will be hungry to learn as opposed to just wanting to cross another book off the list (which is only mildly inspiring).

Let us know what your favorite book is from this list and why you love it. 

 

Here is to our best year yet!

 

Here are my Top Twelve Book Recommendations for 2024:

 

 

 

 

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1. Organized Simplicity: The Clutter-Free Approach to Intentional Living  Tsh Oxenreider   Organization                                      

What is It About:

(Amazon Description) Organized Simplicity’s aim is to convince its readers that simple living is the absolute best way to live.  Be it with house cleaning, family schedule management, personal finances, and managing the “stuff” you allow within your four walls, the only way to live well is to do so intentionally and simply.

Why I Love it:

Tsh is not only an amazing writer, but she helps you answer the “why” behind why we do what we do. Full of practical tips; from schedules, to cluttered closets, to finances, this book is the answer to addressing the clutter and chaos of life.  Get It Here! 

2. Surrender to Love: Discovering the Heart of Christian Spirituality     David G. Benner               Faith

What is It About:

(Amazon Description)  Through careful examination of Scripture and reflection on the Christian tradition, Benner shows how God bids us to trust fully in his perfect love. God is love, and he intends for you to live in his love. Surrender to Love will lead you to an unexpected place, where yieldedness to God frees you to become who he created you to be.

Why I Love it:

Are you tired of living a life of performance before God? Do you long for an intimate relationship with Jesus? This book is an amazing tool for uncovering the lavish love of God poured out on us.  After you read and engage with this book, your spiritual life will never be the same. Get it Here!

  1.  The Total Money Makeover: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness   Dave Ramsey                  Financial Transformation                            

What is It About:

(Amazon Description) You CAN take control of your money.   Do you want to transform your sad and skinny little bank account into a bulked-up cash machine? There’s one sure way to whip your finances into shape, and that’s with The Total Money Makeover: Classic Edition. Design a sure-fire plan for paying off all debt—meaning cars, houses, everything. Recognize the 10 most dangerous money myths (these will kill you). Secure a big, fat nest egg for emergencies and retirement!

 Why I Love it:

Unless you live under a rock, almost everyone has heard of Dave Ramsey. I had to add this book to the list because it transformed my finances, helped me become debt-free, and live in financial freedom.  This book is an easy and entertaining read (on finances no less) but it packs a punch. Financial Freedom is right around the corner for YOU! Get it Here!

 

4. Liturgy of the Ordinary: Sacred Practices in Everyday Life

   Tish Harrison Warren                                            Faith

What is It About:

(Amazon Description) Christianity Today’s 2018 Book of the Year-In the overlooked moments and routines of our day, we can become aware of God’s presence in surprising ways. How do we embrace the sacred in the ordinary and the ordinary in the sacred?  Framed around one ordinary day, this book explores daily life through the lens of liturgy, small practices, and habits that form us. Each activity is related to a spiritual practice as well as an aspect of our Sunday worship.

Why I Love it:

 Do you ever wonder if you can truly be present to God while changing a dirty diaper, folding laundry, and running kids to activities? Tish brings to light God at work in the mundane tasks of our everyday lives. This is a very practical and encouraging book that women (and men) won’t want to put down. Get it Here!

 

  1. 7 Women and the Secret of their Greatness                      Eric Metaxas                                         Biography 

What is It About:

(Amazon Description) New York Times bestselling author Eric Metaxas gives us seven captivating portraits of some of history’s greatest women, each of whom changed the course of history by following God’s call upon their lives.  Each of the world-changing figures who stride across these pages—Joan of Arc, Susanna Wesley, Hannah More, Sister Maria of Paris, Corrie ten Boom, Rosa Parks, and Mother Teresa—is an exemplary model of true womanhood.

Why I Love it:

 Eric Metaxas is not only a superb writer but what an inspiring book! He dedicates a chapter to seven women who exemplified Christ is such similar and vastly different ways.  You will be encouraged, captivated and inspired to wholeheartedly dive after God’s plans for your own life after reading this book.  Get it Here! 

  1. Death By Suburb-How to Keep the Suburbs from Killing Your Soul      Dave L. Goetz                                            Faith

What is It About:

(Amazon Description)  Suburbanites need to understand how the environment affects them and what spiritual disciplines are needed for their faith to survive and thrive. Goetz identifies eight toxins in the suburban life, such as hyper–competition and the “transactional” friendship, and suggests eight corresponding disciplines to keep the spiritual life authentic.

Why I Love it:

Tired of superficial faith? Want to go deeper with Jesus but not sure how?  This author stands out with his brutally honest look at the pitfalls of suburban life. Not a suburbanite? No problem, the truths in this book can apply to any follower of Jesus. I appreciate how he practically applies each chapter to a spiritual discipline. The only downside, I could find is that he (the author) can tend to wax eloquent in a few chapters. Get it Here!  

  1. Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When the Stakes Are High       Kerry Patterson                                  Communication                                                                  

What is It About:

(Amazon Description) The New York Times and Washington Post bestseller that changed the way millions communicate. Crucial Conversations exploded onto the scene and revolutionized the way millions of people communicate when stakes are high. This new edition gives you the tools to: Prepare for high-stakes situations Transform anger and hurt feelings into powerful dialogue Make it safe to talk about almost anything    Be persuasive, not abrasive

 
Why I Love it:

This is one of the best books that I have read on communication. It helps you think clearly, open lines of communication, and converse in a way that your audience can understand. It gives great tools for how to handle conflicts with confidence. Get it Here!

  1. Joining Children on the Spiritual Journey: Nurturing A Life of Faith      Catherine Stonehouse                                    Parenting                                

What is It About:

(Amazon Description) Understanding how a child’s faith forms is crucial to knowing how adults can most significantly enhance the child’s spiritual development.By carefully “setting the stage” through liturgy, sacred stories, and parables, adults can help children meet with God. Quiet times of “godly play,” carefully adapted to the age level of the child, enable adults to join with children on the journey toward deeper intimacy with God.

 

Why I Love it:

 Do you want to know how to introduce your child to spiritual practices beyond memorization and Bible reading? Do you want to give them spiritual tools that will change the course of the rest of their lives? This book is not only super practical but has put years of research behind the best ways of communicating with your child.  Dive into this book and set your child up for success, a deep relationship with God. Get it Here!

 

  1. The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery  Ian Morgan Cron             Personal Development                                               

    What is It About:

    (Amazon Description) What you don’t know about yourself can hurt you and your relationships―and maybe even how you make your way in the world. It can also keep you in the shallows with God. Do you want help figuring out who you are and why you’re stuck in the same ruts? The Enneagram is an ancient personality type system with an uncanny accuracy in describing how human beings are wired, both positively and negatively.

    Why I Love it:

 This book is more than a personality tool, it is a way of looking at your life holistically. It helps you become self-aware, understanding why you do what you do, and giving you permission to be yourself. It also shows you warning signs to look out for when you are operating out of an unhealthy place. LOVE IT!  Get it Here!

  1. For Women Only: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men   Shaunti Feldhahn                                Marriage                                            

What is It About:

(Amazon Description) The man in your life carries important feelings so deep inside he barely knows they’re there, much less how to talk about them. Yet your man genuinely wants you to “get” him—to understand his inner life, to know his fears and needs, to hear what he wishes he could tell you.  Based on rigorous research with thousands of men, Shaunti delivers one eye-opening revelation after another, including:

Why your respect means more to him than your love.  How he feels deep inside about his role as provider. What it means for a man to be so visually “wired.” Why sex for him is primarily emotional, not physical. What he most wishes he could say to you.

 

Why I Love it:

This book answers real-life questions about men, is very honest (sometimes brutally so), and super practical (are you picking up on our theme).  An easy but poignant read, it gives you tools to help you love and understand your spouse at a deeper level. Get it Here!

 

  1.  The Season Nativity:Confessions and Practices of an Advent, Christmas, and Epiphany Extremist                          Sybil Macbeth                                                       Advent

What is It About:

(Amazon Description) The Season of the Nativity – Advent, Christmas, and Epiphany – deserves more attention and better publicity. As the opening three acts for the liturgical year, it sets the stage for our yearlong journey through Scripture and salvation history. This book combines memoir, front-porch theology, and pages of spiritual practices and activities to invite individuals and families into a deeper relationship with a time of year you may have never discovered before. It gives simple tools and exercises for word-weary, distracted, and busy people – perhaps to experience a serious and playful nativity season for the first time.

 

Why I Love it:

WOW! I love this book for its clear explanations of Advent, Christmas, and Epiphany and hands-on activities. The book is full of easy, and practical suggestions to create a meaningful season for your family that is focused on Jesus. You could not possibly do every activity presented so pick a couple to add each year.  Get it Here! 

12. Discernment, God’s Will and Living Jesus: Christian Discernment as a Way of Life

Larry Warner                                                Discernment

 

What is It About:

(Amazon Description) Want help in hearing and recognizing the voice of God? Do you desire to discern and live into God’s Will for your life? Far from the usual notion of trying to “discover God’s will” when faced with a critical decision in life, this book underscores the fact that discernment is foremost a lifestyle we need to cultivate. Written with warmth and wisdom, biblical, practical, gritty, and not always comfortable this book speaks to the mind and heart of every Christian who longs for a closer, more intimate walk with Jesus.

Why I Love it:

Do you ever struggle with knowing the answer to a difficult decision? The saying, “What would Jesus do?” just really doesn’t cut in crucial situations.  This book is all about developing a discerning lifestyle with practical suggestins for everyday life. Larry takes the “mystery” out of Christian discernment. A challenging read that offers practical tools for hearing God’s voice. Get it Here! 

 

 

 What about you? What books would you add to this list?

Please feel free to leave me a comment and don’t forget to follow Most Important Work  on Pinterest!e a comment, and d

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