The Fear Of The Lonely Homeschooler

The Fear Of The Lonely Homeschooler

  

Reading Time: 4 min 58 sec

I pushed my cart up to the checkout counter at my local grocery store. My cashier was an early twenty-something who just oozed personality.  I swear, part of the job description for working at this grocery store is the ability to make small talk. She immediately launched into how my day was going, which inevitably led to asking questions to my kids.

 

There is a running joke (and a thousand memes) regarding the comment’s homeschoolers receive at the grocery store. Let me warn you, inquiries don’t all come from people over the age of sixty.  

 

After discovering that my kids were homeschooled (it was 10am on ordinary Wednesday after all) her first comment was to say that she would love to homeschool her future kids but her boyfriend would never agree. She then went on to disclose his fear (and her own) about how would her kids be socialized when they were at home ALL THE TIME.

I wanted to point out that my kids were in fact out of the house and Socializing right now, but that didn’t seem very helpful. 🙂

 

The fear of the lonely (or socially inept) homeschooler is one of the top concern’s parents have when deciding whether or not to homeschool. We worry about whether or not our kids will be able to function in the various situations that life presents them. Will they be able to make friends? Will they be able to interact with others? We all sincerely want to do what’s best for the future of our kids.  So how do we raise children outside of the school walls who can function well within society?

 

1.What Is Socialization?

2. The Fear of Being Different

3. The Real-Life Truth

1. What Is Socialization?

The heavy emphasis on the importance of socialization is not limited to homeschooling.  Before our kids are born we are inundated with the significance of socialization.

 

 This is aptly described in the popular tv show The Office, where Pam the lead character, mentions that it’s good her child is going to the nursery because then it could have some time to socialize with the other babies.

 

Do we ever stop and ask ourselves what exactly is socialization?  What are we working so hard to accomplish FOR our children?

 

We all assume socialization means interacting with others but that is only one facet.  The Merriam-Webster dictionary states that socialization is defined as, “the process beginning during childhood by which individuals acquire the values, habits, and attitudes of a society”.

 

Just think about that for a second.

 

“ ..by which individuals acquire the values, habits, and attitudes of a society.”

 

We need to know what we are striving so hard to accomplish in our child’s life. We need to come to terms with the goal of socialization and decide for ourselves how much influence we want society to have in the life of our child.

 

2. The Fear of Being Different

 

Why do we all imagine homeschoolers as nerds who live under a rock only come out for food and chess tournaments?  In my opinion, I believe that part of the real reason we are stressing the importance of socialization is due to fear.  

 

We are deathly afraid that our child will be seen as different. We worry about what our friends will think if our child does behave the same as his or her peers.  We wonder if we are setting our child up for future bullying or that they will grow up naive and unable to function in society.  We are deathly afraid that our kids will grow up to be the oddball out.

 

When we experience fear, a good exercise is to list out the worst-case scenarios. When you take the time to name the fears they suddenly get smaller. You are able to figure out what fears are valid and need to explore further (through further research, discussion with your spouse, or prayer).  

 

And you are able to decide what fears are irrational and need to be seen for what they are.  Sometimes fear can become so overwhelming that it keeps us from taking a look at the big picture.

 

Now, the general point of education is so that we can raise functioning members of society. If that is our goal, why do we think it is crucial to have our child’s physiological, moral, and social development shaped eight hours a day by twenty-five peers who come from families whose values are far different than our own?

  

Do we really want our children to be influenced by kids who the only reason they are together is that they were born in the same calendar year? Or do we want to surround our kids with the best and the brightest? Encouraging them to interact with people of all ages and nationalities?

 

There is really no other time in my child’s life where they will be surrounded for eight hours a day with a group of people all the same age. Really from the moment we graduate high school, we are expected to be able to interact in groups with people of all different ages.  I want to prepare my child for life, not school.

 

 

3. The Real Life Truth

So, let’s talk homeschool reality.  The basis of homeschooling is living life together in community.  Even if I would like to buy a tiny home and live out in the middle of the woods, I still have milk to buy,  dentists to visit, and that’s just the boring stuff.

 

What I am trying to say is that by homeschooling your children are learning how to interact with different types of people in different settings EVERY DAY. They don’t need a specific class on it. 🙂

 

In addition to real life situations, there are also a plethora of activities that are available to your child.  These are great places for your children to form friendships and interact with children and adults of all ages.

 

There are co-ops where homeschooling moms get together and teach their favorite subjects (so you don’t have to teach the ones you hate). There are field trips, sports, neighborhood, and church activities, and specialized programs and internships. The list literally goes on and on and on.

 

To finish the tale of my grocery store experience.  I settled for a quick response to the cashiers’ questions by listing all of the opportunities my children have to socialize.  I am going to assume that she was in a state of shock when she said, “Wow. I guess they really do have time with other kids. I guess you don’t have to be afraid your kids will be weird.”

 

No, cashier lady, I am not afraid my children will be weird. I am excited that they get to experience the world as their playground.

 

Mamas, let’s say no to fear and embrace the possibilities. 

 

Are you wondering HOW do you actually get started homeschooling? Join our community of moms who want to invest in the lives of their children through homeschooling. I also created a 10 Tips to Finding Excellent Curriculum form to help you on your journey. 

 

What about you? What are your top concerns when it comes to socialization? Leave a comment, and don’t forget to follow Most Important Work on Pinterest! 

What Happened When I Got Sick and Tired of Superficial Faith

What Happened When I Got Sick and Tired of Superficial Faith

  

Reading Time: 5 min 38 sec

Do you as you get done with the endless rounds of church services, volunteering shifts, small groups, and food pantry donations, ever stop short and ask yourself, “Is this all there is?”.   

 

Seriously, do you ever feel like a poser always projecting this vibrant relationship with God when frankly you are not even sure you could tell the difference between his voice and the pizza you had for dinner last night?

 

Do you ever feel like all your running around for God leaves you feeling even emptier inside?  Your devotions and all your knowledge of God feel pointless because it never seems to transfer into real life?

 

You feel discouraged, unmotivated, and maybe even a little guilty. This is not what you imagined a living breathing, relationship with God would look like.

 

I was there. I had reached the end of what I could work up for God. My endless doing for God felt exhausting, overwhelming and never enough.   My relationship felt stagnant like someone had pressed pause, and no conference on the earth was going to change that outcome.  

 

I grew more desperate as the dissatisfaction continued to grow. There had to be more to a relationship with God than my current experience of him.

 

So, what do you do when you reach a wall in your relationship with God that you can’t scale, you can bury under, and you can’t knock down?

 

  1. The Desperation

2. The Invitation

3. The Transformed Life

 

 

1. The Desperation

 

I grew up in the church. I was there every time the doors were open. I was involved in various ministries, attended all the classes, and pursued learning as much as I could about God and how to be a good Christian.

 

I went on staff at a local church and served as part of their elementary team and later as their youth pastor. I created and led events that were designed to help students and their families grow deeper in their faith.  I was all about producing more, accomplishing more, and working more all in an effort to prove my worth not only to others but to God.  

 

I would run from conference to event to workshop hunting for an encounter with God all the while burying this deep sense of dissatisfaction and exhaustion. I believed the lie that “good Christians” (especially in ministry) don’t give up, they stick with it. I found myself running from one thing to the next trying to serve my way into encountering God’s love and approval.

 

If you would have asked me I would have told you that without a doubt God’s love for me was not conditional on my performance. And that there was nothing I could do to make God love me any more or any less than he did right now. I  thought I believed it, but I obviously hadn’t experienced God’s transforming love. 

 

Can I tell you that it is exhausting to try and outperform God? Okay, that might be a little over dramatic (:) but it felt like the harder I “ministered for Jesus” the more dissatisfied I became.  My quiet times felt stale and lifeless and I couldn’t figure out where to go from here.

 

2. The Invitation

 

I had grown up hearing stories of men and women of faith. Who not only exemplified the fruits of the spirit (the holy grail of the Christian life) but who even more surprisingly had actual deep relationships with Jesus.

They had actual conversations with God which were captivating because if I were honest, my conversations with Jesus were more me talking and him listening.  They completely surrendered their lives to God, it wasn’t always pretty, and yet shockingly they were at peace.  That’s it, I thought, I want what they have. Little did I know that an invitation was about to be presented to me.

 

I was sitting in a staff meeting when I first heard about several people I respect journeying through a book (Journey with Jesus) that was based on the spiritual exercises of St. Ignatian. I wasn’t familiar with St. Ignatius at the time, and a coming from a conservative evangelical background I was leery of anything with a saint in front of it. 🙂 

 

However, I remember sitting there and hearing the stories of these leaders whose lives, ministries, and intimacy with Jesus were transformed. I knew this was something I had to check out.  

One of the things that I learned about St. Ignatius is that he was a man who strongly desired to help others encounter a deep experience of Jesus. The key for me was the word Experience. I did not need more head knowledge about God, I wanted a relationship with him.  

 

 The process was a little daunting, you commit to nine months of not only meeting with God for an hour a day but also meeting regularly with a Spiritual Friend. After time spent in prayer I felt like this was God’s bold invitation to me.   

 

I am not going to lie. This experience cost me something. I had to rearrange my life so I could participate in this journey. 

 

As a mom, who at the time had several kids under the age five (and a brand-new puppy), finding an hour to meet with God each day was not easy by any stretch of the imagination. I had to be creative when it came to carving out time with Jesus. But it was so necessary for my soul.

 

3. The Surrendered Life

Those nine months (that actually stretched into a year and a half) changed my life. Through daily scripture reading, prayer, silence, and hands-on activities, I encountered the lavish never-ending love of the Father.

 

I discovered that as I experienced God’s love by indentity started to undergo a transformation. God used this tool (for that is all that it is) in my life to allow me to experience the height and depth and breadth of his lavish love.  It was like a breath of fresh air. Finally, I could cease striving to try to prove my worth and rest in my identity as one chosen, adopted and unconditionally loved by my Father in heaven.

 

I learned that the basis of my relationship with God is learning how to be rooted and grounded in love. It is out of my great love relationship with him that I can, in turn, share his love with others.   

 

My whole paradigm shifted, my identity, security, and outlook on life changed drastically. I don’t have to jump from conference to conference trying to figure out the missing key to a deep relationship with God.  My relationship with God has grown significantly. I get to step off the treadmill of performance and  actively participate with the Holy Spirit in my life.

 

 I am, like all of us, on a journey. Every day, I discover something new, and it feels like I am just scratching the surface of a relationship with Jesus.  Life is still challenging but you get to rest in the peace that you are unconditionally loved by God. This changes EVERYTHING!

 

You get to embrace of life of freedom instead of constantly worrying about how you measure up.  You get to live everyday in anticipation for you know there is SO MUCH MORE to a relationship with Jesus.

 

So, my friends, are ready to experience God on a deeper level? Here are some ways that you can get started in actually EXPERIENCING the love of the Father.

 

Everyone’s journey to a deeper life with God is different. If you feel drawn to the Ignatian Exercises you can check out this book Journey with Jesus by Larry Warner. I love it because it is written in a very accessible and experiential way. You actually get to participate in activities that help create space for the Holy Spirit to speak to you. Did I make it clear that I LOVE  it? 🙂

 

If that seems like a bit much, to take on right now, I would suggest reading Surrender to Love by David Benner. It is a short but powerful book (its worth it even if you hate reading) that has played a huge part in my walk with Jesus.  

 

I pray that you will experience the height, depth, and breadth of God’s lavish love for you.

You will never be the same. 

                            

 

If you want to know how to get started in living a deep life with God; grab our Deeper Life Beginners Guide(below). And join our community of moms who are hungry for more Jesus in their lives and in the lives of their families. 

What about you? What is God’s invitation to you?   Leave a comment, and don’t forget to follow Most Important Work on Pinterest!   

 

[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]
How to Spend Time With Jesus When It’s Hard

How to Spend Time With Jesus When It’s Hard

  

Reading Time: 5 min 41 sec

Do you ever feel like a failure when it comes to your relationship with God? Your pastor, your friends, and your soul all tell you that daily time is crucial for your faith, but you just can’t seem to meet consistently with him. 

 

You occasionally hear about the lives of great men of faith and something in you stirs, you long for deep intimacy with the Father, but that longing never seems to translate into real life.  You plan to wake up early and spend time with God, and then you oversleep your alarm. You know waking up early will never happen so you plan on meeting with God after dinner, and then your spouse wants to take you out on a date.

 

Every day it seems like your grand intentions of spending time with Jesus are forced aside due to something. Your kid wakes up with a nightmare, your boss e-mails you with a question, your spouse is watching tv and you want to hang out, the mountains of laundry that need to be folded, and frankly, you are tired and you don’t want to do something you “should” do.

 

Good things are truly the enemy of great things.  There will always be a thousand reasons, excuses, emergencies, and opportunities for you not to spend time with Jesus.

 

But what could your life look like if you spent time with Jesus every day? How would your heart transform? Your attitudes and your interactions with others?

C.S. Lewis, Billy Graham, Mother Theresa, Corrie Ten Boom, and Dietrich Bonhoeffer all started their walks with God where you are right now! It’s not too late to experience a deeper life with God.

  1. The Foundation

2. Reordering Your Life Around Jesus

3. Tools for the Changing Seasons

 

 

1. The Foundation 

 

Your father in heaven lavishly loves you regardless of whether or not you have gone three days without spending time with him. He is not a punitive God, ready to heap fire and brimstones on your head. His over the top love for you is not based on your performance. There is nothing you can do to make God love you any more or any less than he does right now. 

 

Ephesians 3:17-19 says, “And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, you’ll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ’s love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God.”

 

This love that is overflowing with grace is the foundation for your entire relationship with God.  How can we go beyond a surface relationship with God? How can we experience a deeper life with God?   

 

First, by taking some time to ask ourselves, why do you want to experience a deeper life with God? Do you feel resistance to having devotions? List those reasons (ex. It seems like a waste of time, nothing ever happens, there is so much to do, I mess up so much that God doesn’t want to spend time with me etc.)  Really examine your heart and be real.  Is it because you feel like you should spend time with Jesus because that’s what good Christians do? Or because you know it will be good for you? What is your reason?

 

There is no right answer. Your father in heaven has been pursuing you since the moment of your existence. Regardless of where you are talk to God about your resistance, your thoughts, and feelings, and ask for a deeper desire for him.

 

Do you know that every time you show up and are present that you bring joy to God?  Every time you make the small choice to say yes to spending time with Jesus and no to something else (even good things) you fill his heart with joy.

 

 

2. Reordering Your Life Around Jesus 

 

A couple of years ago I trained for a half marathon. When I decided to race, I knew it was going to take more than a goal and fancy running plan. I woke up every morning at 5am.   I ran through blisters and cramps, I ran when it was the last thing I wanted to do, and I kept running when I was tired, hot, and discouraged. I ran for hours.

 

 I reordered my life to accomplish my goal. It took sacrifices. I went to bed earlier, I had to say no to some social activities, and I watched what I ate. I was single-minded in the pursuit of my goal.

 

The key to success was that I didn’t just try and fit my runs around life, I rearranged my life to fit my running schedule.

 

This idea crosses over into our relationship with God. If you have a desire to go deeper in your relationship with God, wishing won’t get you there.  To have an intimate relationship with God, you need to reorder your life around him.  It doesn’t work to make a goal, create a fancy plan, and then try to fit it around your schedule.  Other things will ALWAYS move you away from your goal.

 

It will take sacrifices. You might have to get up earlier, say no to a tv show, or time with your family.  But know that these sacrifices will pay DIVIDENDS in the future. You will be a woman who is operating out of your identity as a beloved child of God and that simple fact will CHANGE everything.  As you go deep in the love of God, that loves flows through you, and overflows on the people around you.  Your simple act of faithfulness will transform your family and your life.

 

Are you reordering your life around Jesus? 

 

3. Tools for the Changing Seasons

Do you feel like your time with God is boring and stale? Do you feel like you are not connecting with God?  Rest assured, you are not defective or a bad Christian. As we transition into different life seasons, the ways we connect with God might need to change in order to fit where we are in that season. Being flexible by not getting locked into certain ways of meeting with God can help you connect with him in different ways and at deeper levels.

For instance, you have entered into a very busy season either with your kids or at work. You are spending a large majority of your day in the car driving. This would be a great opportunity to change it up and start listening to an audio version of the Bible.

 

Or you find yourself slogging through current devotional (which you LOVED two months ago) and not really connecting with anything other than how much it is NO LONGER working.  This would be a great time to either try a different devotional or connect with God using art.  

 

Here are some ideas for how you can figure out what might be a good tool for your current season.

 

  1. Ask God what are you inviting me into?

 

  1. Ask yourself, what am I feeling drawn towards? Is there a devotional that you can’t stop thinking about? Do you get excited about the idea of using art as a way to connect with God?

 

  1. Try out different tools until you find one that seems to be a good fit.

 

 

Don’t feel the need to finish something. If a tool is no longer meeting you where you are at (you are dreading you using it) put it down, it may really fit where you are in a future season.

 

Here are some resources that might be a good fit for your current season.

IF you want to know how to get started in living a deeper life with God; grab our Deeper Life Beginners Guide(below). And join our community of moms who are hungry for more Jesus in their lives and in the lives of their families. 

 

What about you? What is your #1 issue when it comes to living life with God?   Leave a comment, and don’t forget to follow Most Important Work on Pinterest!

 

How To Pray When It Feels Like God Isn’t Listening

How To Pray When It Feels Like God Isn’t Listening

  

Reading Time: 5 min 46 sec

Have you ever wondered if God is off taking a vacation when you pray? Okay, maybe not a vacation, but it seems like every time you call out to him, you are met with deafening silence. You secretly wonder if you are doing something wrong.  All your friends, your pastor, people at church are always mentioning, God said this…or I hear God today.. and you are like, “WAIT, did I miss the memo? Did God show up today and I didn’t hear about it?”  

 

The fact that you must be defective, or a really immature Christian, festers in the back of your brain, you feel embarrassed, and you try to mask the fact that apparently you and God aren’t on speaking terms. You push your prayer frustrations to the side until one day you are confronted with pain.

 

Whether the death of a loved one, frustration at work, a rebellious teen, violence in the world, something stirs your heart, and you cry out to God, “God, where are you? I am in agony. I am confused. I am frustrated. You say you love me, but where are you when I need you? All I get is silence. Am I doing something wrong? Do you not love me? Where are you? I need you now.”

 

If that’s you, keep reading…

  1. Playing Hide and Seek with God 

2. The Invitation 

3. Practice Showing Up 

 

 

1. Playing Hide and Seek With God 

 

 So where is God? Seriously, it can seem like every time we desperately need to hear from him, he is off saving the world. What about us? Where is he, when we call out in our pain?  Does he even care?       Psalm 139:1-12 gives us explicit directions as to where God is hanging out.

 

It says, “God, investigate my life; get all the facts firsthand. I’m an open book to you; even from a distance, you know what I’m thinking. You know when I leave and when I get back; I’m never out of your sight. You know everything I’m going to say before I start the first sentence. I look behind me and you’re there, then up ahead and you’re there, too—your reassuring presence, coming and going.

This is too much, too wonderful. I can’t take it all in!  Is there any place I can go to avoid your Spirit? To be out of your sight?

 If I climb to the sky, you’re there!  If I go underground, you’re there! If I flew on morning’s wings to the far western horizon,You’d find me in a minute—you’re already there waiting!

Then I said to myself, “Oh, he even sees me in the dark! At night I’m immersed in the light!” It’s a fact: darkness isn’t dark to you; night and day, darkness and light, they’re all the same to you.”

 

Is there a word or phrase that jumps out at you in this passage?  

 

Do you notice that it says, he knows what we are thinking?  Not just what we are doing, but our very thoughts and that there is no place we can go to avoid his Spirit.

 

King David, the author of this Psalm, was known for having a deep, intimate relationship with God, and out of that intimacy, he shares his experience of God with us.  Now before you think that this is just a picture of David’s relationship with God, David wrote this psalm for the choir director. Meaning this song was written to be sung by people of Israel, proclaiming Gods praises, attesting of Gods’ faithfulness to us.

 

 We read this passage and tell ourselves, yes, of course, God is with me.  Any person who has been a Christian for longer than five minutes knows that God never leaves us or forsakes us.

 

 We know this truth mentally but it sure doesn’t feel like he is present.  So, if we can’t outrun, out hide, or out fly, the love of God than why can’t I hear his voice?

 

 

2. The Invitation

 

I was having a conversation with an acquaintance, and halfway through, I noticed that her eyes kept drifting, and she was looking very distracted.  All throughout our conversation, she kept smiling and nodding to the people around me. Needless to say, it was a very distracting conversation for both of us.

 

We can fall into this same trap in our conversations with God.  We are either so desperate for an answer that we spend the entire time shouting our requests to God. Or we say a five-second prayer, wait for a moment or two, and then rail at him when he doesn’t show up in a miraculous way.

 

Anthony Bloom, a spiritual writer says it this way, “We complain that God does not make himself present to us for the few minutes we reserve for him, but what about the twenty-three and a half hours during which God may be knocking at our door and we answer, “I am busy. I am sorry.” Or when we do not answer at all because we do not even hear the knock at the door of our heart, of our mind, of our conscience, of our life.”

 

 God loves spending time with you.  He is not hiding or playing games with you. He genuinely loves to hear your voice. And he is presenting you with a Grand Invitation. He is inviting you to go deeper into a love relationship with him. He is asking, “I am inviting you to spend time with me?”

 

He is asking you to invite him into your entire day, not just the twenty minutes you spend reading the Bible each morning.

 

 So how can we practically be present with God all throughout the day? How can we give him more than a distracted conversation in a time of crisis? 

 

3. Practice Showing Up 

 

 Do you ever feel like you are wasting your time when you sit down to have devotions and nothing seems to happen? That there are so many other responsibilities clamoring for your attention, taking twenty minutes out of your day can seem well, a lavish extravagance.  

 

You go through the motions of reading a Bible passage or filling in the answers in a devotional, and at times it can just seem…well boring. (GASP!) Yes, I did say boring, because frankly, devotions can be boring.

 

I got bored. I wanted something more than filling my head with facts about God (though it is an important part of our faith), I wanted to actually have a living, breathing experience of God. I wanted what Daniel, David, Esther, Mary, and countless others had with Jesus. I wanted to have a real relationship with him. 

 

To have a deep relationship with him, we must be active participants in our conversations with God. Setting aside distractions (or at least keeping them at bay), and engaging in talking and listening to God. And here is the key part…even when it feels like nothing is happening.   

 

It seriously is about the practice of showing up, day after day and laying down our agenda for his.  Asking God that he would spark a deeper desire for more of him in our hearts.

 

Here are some suggestions of practical things that you can use throughout your day as a reminder to be present to Jesus.

 

1. Light or use a battery powered candle to remind you that God is with you and in you.

 

2. Place a small cross in your pocket. Every time you touch it serves as a reminder to turn your focus back to Jesus.

 

3. Set reminders on your phone. You can label them with messages, like “You are a beloved child of God.” “How is your day going? Love, God” “I am with you today- Love, God”

 

4. Hang a meaningful symbol from your rearview mirror. Every time you get in the car, let it serve as a reminder to pray.

 

5. Put a picture of Jesus holding a lamb, or with children on the background d of your phone or computer. Let it serve as a reminder that you are a child beloved by God.

 

 

Do you want to learn how to live WITH God? Do you want to experience a deep relationship with Jesus not just find out more facts about him?  Check out Liturgy of the Ordinary by Tish Harrison Warren. This book was pivotal in my own journey, in learning how to be present to God all throughout my day. I LOVE it!

 


What about you? What is your #1 issue when it comes to living life with God?   Leave a comment, and don’t forget to follow Most Important Work on Pinterest!    

[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]
How To Avoid Feeling Like An Inadequate Christian

How To Avoid Feeling Like An Inadequate Christian

  

Reading Time: 5 min 15 sec

The last couple of weeks I hit a major writing block. I would stare at a blank computer screen, for what felt like decades, with just fragments of thoughts. I knew the topic I wanted to explore but every time I went to set pen to paper (or fingers to keys as the case may be) my mind would go completely blank.

 

It was disorienting. I had deadlines to meet, to-dos to cross off and here I was with zip, nada, nothing. As time went on, panic set in, and fear crept up the back of my throat.  Doubts started to plague me.  “Who do you think you are?” it yelled, “You aren’t qualified to write about this topic”.

 

As deadlines came and passed, a cloud of discouragement and fear came with it, whispering in my ear, “You obviously don’t know anything. Sit down and let the professionals handle it.”   

 

Have you experienced the paralyzing fear of inadequacy? Have you worried that if your friends, family, and coworkers really knew you, you would be seen as a failure, a big disappointment, and a fraud?

 

So, what do we do when fear of failure rears its ugly head?  

 

  1. The Imposter

2. Who Am I? 

3. Daily Surrender

 

 

1. The Imposter

 

The Imposter mentality is all around us, we see people filling their lives in a flurry of activity, maintaining superficial relationships, shouting their achievements, all desperately trying to keep the overwhelming sense of emptiness and failure at bay.

 

This crippling fear that we are not enough can paralyze us. We can end up leading lives of stress, pushing ourselves to higher and higher levels of achievement all in the desperate search to find validation. To get some relief from the doubts and fears that harass our thoughts.

 

We can also see this mentality popping up in our relationship with God. We work so hard to do, say, and be all the right things, only to worry that we might be a modern-day Pharisee.

 

Do you ever feel exposed before God?  Do you wonder if he is sitting in heaven passing judgment over our many failures?   If we are honest, we can quickly fall into the trap of feeling like our relationship with God is like a soul-sucking list of “should’s”. 

 

  • I should know the correct way to pray.
  • I should know how to hear from God.
  • I should know more about God.
  • My prayers should sound more spiritual.

 

The list goes on and on.  And so we begin to run on the wheel of performance, trying to prove our worth to God, to others, and trying to fill that hole in our hearts; with a book list, a workshop, a podcast, or a conference. 

 

This exhausting cycle can keep us from embracing all that God has for us. It can keep us from living a life of freedom.

 

 

2. Who Am I? 

 

So, what do we do when we feel the need to find our validation in anything other than God?

 

We need to know who we are.

 

1 John 3:1 says, “What marvelous love the Father has extended to us! Just look at it—we’re called children of God! That’s who we really are. But that’s also why the world doesn’t recognize us or take us seriously, because it has no idea who he is or what he’s up to.”

 

We are called children of God.  God chose us. He knows all of our sin, all of our mistakes, all of our frailties, and yet even then he extended his love to us.  The God of the Universe calls us by name, and showers love upon us.  He knows our innermost thoughts, and yet he still chooses to shower lavish love upon us.

 

Romans 8:32-35 unpacks it with these words, “If God didn’t hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn’t gladly and freely do for us?  

And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God’s chosen? Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us—who was raised to life for us!—is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ’s love for us? There is no way!”

 

There is nothing and no one that can separate us from the love of God.  We don’t have to work for, manipulate, or portray something that we are not in order to gain his acceptance or approval.  

 

He loves us just as we are, no performance necessary.

 

3. Daily Surrender

So how do we live out of our true identity as beloved children of God?  It needs to become a part of our core DNA.  

1. The Imposter

 

The Imposter mentality is all around us, we see people filling their lives in a flurry of activity, maintaining superficial relationships, shouting their achievements, all desperately trying to keep the overwhelming sense of emptiness and failure at bay.

 

This crippling fear that we are not enough can paralyze us. We can end up leading lives of stress, pushing ourselves to higher and higher levels of achievement all in the desperate search to find validation. To get some relief from the doubts and fears that harass our thoughts.

 

We can also see this mentality popping up in our relationship with God. We work so hard to do, say, and be all the right things, only to worry that we might be a modern-day Pharisee.

 

Do you ever feel exposed before God?  Do you wonder if he is sitting in heaven passing judgment over our many failures?   If we are honest, we can quickly fall into the trap of feeling like our relationship with God is like a soul-sucking list of “should’s”. 

 

  • I should know the correct way to pray.
  • I should know how to hear from God.
  • I should know more about God.
  • My prayers should sound more spiritual.

 

The list goes on and on.  And so we begin to run on the wheel of performance, trying to prove our worth to God, to others, and trying to fill that hole in our hearts; with a book list, a workshop, a podcast, or a conference. 

 

This exhausting cycle can keep us from embracing all that God has for us. It can keep us from living a life of freedom.

 

 

2. Who Am I? 

 

So, what do we do when we feel the need to find our validation in anything other than God?

 

We need to know who we are.

 

1 John 3:1 says, “What marvelous love the Father has extended to us! Just look at it—we’re called children of God! That’s who we really are. But that’s also why the world doesn’t recognize us or take us seriously, because it has no idea who he is or what he’s up to.”

 

We are called children of God.  God chose us. He knows all of our sin, all of our mistakes, all of our frailties, and yet even then he extended his love to us.  The God of the Universe calls us by name, and showers love upon us.  He knows our innermost thoughts, and yet he still chooses to shower lavish love upon us.

 

Romans 8:32-35 unpacks it with these words, “If God didn’t hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn’t gladly and freely do for us?  

And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God’s chosen? Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us—who was raised to life for us!—is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ’s love for us? There is no way!”

 

There is nothing and no one that can separate us from the love of God.  We don’t have to work for, manipulate, or portray something that we are not in order to gain his acceptance or approval.  

 

He loves us just as we are, no performance necessary.

 

3. Daily Surrender

So how do we live out of our true identity as beloved children of God?  It needs to become a part of our core DNA.  

“In order for our knowing of God’s love to be truly transformational, it must become the basis of our identity…An identity grounded in God would mean that when we think of who we are, the first thing that would come to mind is our status as someone who is deeply loved by God.”-David Benner

 

Instead of identifying ourselves in what we do, we need to see ourselves for who we are in Jesus. This also means that we have to daily (sometimes hourly) surrender ourselves to God.

 

Every morning I ask God to help me place my value, not in my roles (wife, mother, etc.), or in what I accomplish (or don’t) throughout the day, but as his beloved child. I pray that I would come to experience at deeper and deeper levels that there is nothing I need to do to gain his love or approval.  

 

This takes transparency and humility. We want to always be doing for God.  It can be scary, messy and countercultural to accept and rest in his extravagant love. And I sometimes fail miserably.  I get moving too fast and fall back into the lie that my worth, my very identity is tied up in what I produce.

 

“Genuine transformation requires vulnerability. It is not the fact of being loved unconditionally that is life-changing. IT is the risky experience of allowing myself to be loved unconditionally.”-David Benner

 

In our independent culture, receiving an extravagant gift when we didn’t earn it can be uncomfortable. God has done so much for us, we just want to do our part to pay him back. 

When you learn what it means to just be with God instead of working for God, to experience (not just know about) his lavish love… it’s transformational.

 

When fear and self-doubt threaten to take over, remember God chose you. You are the beloved of the king of all kings.  You don’t need to perform to earn his love.  When you daily surrender your feelings of inadequacy to God, and you walk through life resting in the security that you are enough, just as you are, fear loses its grip. You have nothing to prove.

 

Today is the day.  Lay down fear, the rat race of performance and embrace God’s overwhelming, never stopping, beyond comprehension love.. for you. I promise you your life will never be the same.  

 

 

Do you want to learn how to live out of your true identity as one chosen by God? Check out David Benner’s Surrender to Love. This book was transformational in my own journey to laying down fear and living freely and lightly as a beloved child of God.


 What about you? What is your #1 issue when it comes to living life with God?   Leave a comment, and don’t forget to follow Most Important Work on Pinterest!    

[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]
A Homeschool Day In the Life

A Homeschool Day In the Life

  

Reading Time: 4 min 48 sec

When we first decided to homeschool, we had a vision to create a certain type of atmosphere for our children.  We wanted to foster deep family relationships, build life long memories, dive down rabbit holes, and allow our children to bask in the magic of childhood. We wanted our children to have the freedom to play, to explore and to create. We wanted to foster independent thinkers, lifelong learners, and courageous children.

 

And above all else, we wanted to encourage a deep, lifelong relationship with Jesus. We wanted to raise men and women of faith who live out of their identity as beloved children of God.

 

Every time we listen to Anne of Green Gables, giggle over board games, get down on our knees to pray, dance to the blues, and pour over logic, we are making small choices that move us toward our big vision.  

 

When you look at our typical homeschool day,you need to understand that this is what works for our family in this season. I know it can be easy to get caught up in what you are or are NOT doing, we all want to do it RIGHT, but that misses the point of this article. You need to do what’s right for you, what fits your personality, and the needs of your family. 

 

Mama’s, we are in this together! We are stepping out on faith, working hard, and imaging a different type of future for our children.  So, don’t get too caught up in the details (we do not all have to use the same schedule) and let’s give ourselves A LOT of grace, and make choices today that move us toward our vision for the future. 

 

Daily and Weekly Rhythm: 

We found that it helps our day flow smoothly when we follow a rhythm instead of a schedule.

Years ago, I created a schedule, and it totally stressed me out. I always felt like the clock was the master of our day, and we are always struggling to keep up. 

Now, we take our time, and after completing a task, we just move to the next thing on the list.

Every day we work on core subjects but each day has a different emphasis. 

 

Borrowing from Brave Writer our weekly schedule looks something like this: 

Monday– Poetry Tea Time and Free Write 

Tuesday– Nature Study

Wednesday– Art and Music

Thursday– Extra Curricular Activities, Games, and Languages

Friday– Field Trips

 

Morning 

I stumble out of bed and head downstairs to make coffee in the wee hours of the morning after my alarm goes off for the second time.   I realized quickly that I am more productive in the morning than waiting to work until the afternoon. I have found that these early mornings of silence set my day up for success and I actually miss it when I sleep in.  

 

I check my e-mail, work on my blog, and other projects until about 7am.  My children stumble down the stairs ready for snuggles. After helping my husband get out the door for work, we finish up breakfast and start working on our chores for the day.

 

We then move to some type of exercise, in the warmer months we go for a walk, run or bike ride, in the bitter cold of winter, we will use an exercise video to burn off that excess energy.  On certain days of the week, the kids are involved in extracurricular sports.

 

While they finish up chores and play quietly, I go to my room (the quietest place in the house) for devotions. 

 

We officially start the day by lighting our candle to remind us that God is in us and with us. We then spend some time in prayer inviting him into our day.  We move to read our Bible (we ABSOLUTELY LOVE this one) and memorize scripture. Depending on the day, we will either sing some worship songs or work on interactive projects, to help the kids move from head knowledge to heart experience of God.

 

We then snuggle under a huge blanket and start reading through a huge stack of picture books from the library. Books are the foundation for our daily curriculum. We choose books based off of our monthly unit study, the kids’ interest, core subjects, and just for fun books.

 

We then move to work on math, reading lessons, logic, and handwriting. We discovered a great French handwriting book this year that has dramatically improved their handwriting skills. 

 

We intermix lessons with reading aloud to give them a break.  A large amount of our learning can be done together but I do work with my six-year-old on reading separately, while I have my eight-year-old work their handwriting. 

 

Here are our daily goals that we try to make happen FIRST each day. If nothing else gets done, at least I know that these things were accomplished.

Time with Jesus

Outside Time

Read Aloud (Books, Books, and more Books)

Games & Music

 

We will finish out the morning with either free play, listening to an audiobook, art, games and stem activities. 

 

 Afternoon

At around noon, I start making lunch while the kids play. After eating, we begin afternoon quiet time. Where the kids either nap, read books or play quietly in their rooms. I have found that this is a necessary part of our day, as tempers can flare without some time to themselves.  I spend this time working on the blog and completing work projects.

 

At about three-thirty, everyone comes back together to play outside, go for a walk, or depending on the weather, to watch their favorite tv show.

 

Before I know it, it’s time to start preparing dinner and cleaning up the endless art projects, massive forts, and the sticky messes of the day. 

 

Evening 

After dinner, we spend the rest of the night playing a variety of board games together as a family.  We are HUGE fans of board games. We include them wherever we can all throughout our day. They not only are FUN, create lifelong family memories, but they allow us to improve core skills (math, logic etc).

 

After putting kids down to bed.  I finish preparing for the next morning, working on some projects, and reading. Before I know it, its time I am in bed. And yes, I am asleep in about two minutes (morning comes FAST). 🙂

 

That’s our day! What about you? What does your homeschool day look like? Leave a comment, and don’t forget to follow Most Important Work on Pinterest

You Got this Mom!

 

 

Skip to content